Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is whether the
government
should spend money on railways rather than roads
. While
trains
play crucial
role in Add an article
a crucial
traveling
, the number of Change the spelling
travelling
cars
has increased significantly in last
Correct article usage
the last
years
and Correct quantifier usage
few years
this
phenomenon leads
to high demand for Wrong verb form
has led
roads
. Personally, i
Change the capitalization
I
stronly
believe that Correct your spelling
strongly
cars
and roads
should be first
priority for Add an article
the first
a first
government
.
First of all, it is well known that today with the growing population, the demand for transport in general is growing too. Add an article
the government
However
, people tend to choose cars
over public transport and trains
because they are more comfortable and mobile. Moreover
, nowadays cars
have become more cheaper and available. The government
cannot reduce the number of private cars
, but it can provide them with quality roads
and routes, thereby decreasing traffic in cities. Thus
, in my opinon
what the Correct your spelling
opinion
government
should do is spend money on road expansion, adding new routes and reconstructing old ones.
Secondly
, global warming and other ecology issues make us think about the environmental friendliness of transport. But, in digitilized
Correct article usage
the digitilized
age
it is not Add a comma
age,
secret
that the most eco-friendly Correct article usage
a secret
vehicle
are Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
cars
. Unlike trains
, private cars
have become more revolutionized and environmentally friendly with emerging technology and new types of fuel. For instance
, there are new cutting-edge car models such
as Tesla which use energy as a fuel, while
trains
still use petrol or diesel releasing greenhouse gases. It makes cars
more appropriate for using
in the future.
In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account, in our final analysis we can say that Change the form of the verb
use
government
should spend money on roads
and car
more than on railwaysFix the agreement mistake
cars
,
because it can help to solve crucial problems Remove the comma
apply
such
as high traffic and environmental issuesSubmitted by dnm.best on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
general
Try to proofread your essay to correct small spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'digitilized' should be 'digitalized', 'opinion' was misspelled). This helps improve clarity.
task achievement
While your arguments are clear, you can make stronger counterarguments to show a more balanced view, even if you ultimately disagree with them. This will strengthen your essay and show critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
Include more transitions between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the overall flow and coherence of the essay. Using cohesive devices like 'furthermore', 'on the other hand', and 'nevertheless' can make your essay easier to follow.
structure
You've done a good job including both an introduction and a conclusion that clearly state your position. This helps frame your essay effectively.
task response
Your essay contains clear, comprehensive ideas and relevant examples that bolster your argument. This showcases good critical thinking and support for your main points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!