Many today feel that attention spans are becoming shorter due to the prevalence of social media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Attention
-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most common mental disorders affecting children. There is a supposition that the
reason
for
this
mental health is from using social
media
too much
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
such
a young age. For me, I do not really think that social
media
is the only thing
affects
Correct pronoun usage
that affects
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your
attention
deficit. The
reason
why I think social
media
is not the only primary
reason
for causing
attention
deficit
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
because it affects straight to your brain so there are more potential reasons like thinking negative things
while
working or doing so much
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
that you can not properly take a rest. There are many negative and
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
show examples
things around you everywhere and
people
of all ages, so it is not surprising that
people
sometimes feel regret over both the decisions they made and the ones they didn’t. To explain
this
reason
, the researchers had a survey on
people
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
low to high
levels
of
stress
, they saw that it
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
you production of Cortisol
levels
in the blood which is a hormone
due to
with your
stress
and create
your
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
energy (like carbs, fat and sugar). But if you have a high level of
stress
, it will produce more and more Cortisol
levels
that could
wreakingly
Correct your spelling
wreaking
havoc on your brain. From that survey, they see that
people
with high
levels
of
stress
tend to have a low memory
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
making
Wrong verb form
makes
show examples
you
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
attention
and it can
also
lead these
people
to memory loss ( known as Amnesia). In conclusion, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
many potentials that cause
people
with
attention
deficit not only because of social
media
.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: