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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many urgent problems today can only be solved through international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#cooperation
It is widely claimed that pressing issues in the world
could
Wrong verb form
can
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 only be fixed by multilateral collaboration. I disagree with the statement ,and my arguments will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
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this
 essay.
To begin
 with, it might seem reasonable for some to argue that international cooperation is the only method to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high priority
Add a hyphen
high-priority
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 problems.
This
 is probably because they believe that developed countries might be able to provide assistance to
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
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 countries on crucial matters
such
 as healthcare. Take the coronavirus pandemic,
for example
; governments of wealthy countries have been donating their vaccines to impoverished nations
as well as
 nations that are
unabled
Correct your spelling
unable
enabled
 to produce their own vaccines around the world. From
this
 perspective, it is understandable why some individuals would have the idea that all pressing problems should be handled by inviting the international community to work together.
However
, I personally believe that there are several internal problems that could not be resolved solely by international partnerships as issues
such
 as poverty and education should be the responsibility of each government. In my country,
for instance
, unequal access to education requires immediate attention, and it should be the government’s duty to manage their
taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
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 income to tackle the situation. Assuming that each nation does not utilize its own budget to improve the living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 of its population, There would be no point in imposing taxes on its citizens.
For
this
 reason, governments should not entirely rely on assistance from other nations to cope with their domestic concerns. In conclusion,
although
 it is undeniable that multilateral cooperation could be greatly beneficial for certain matters, I am of the opinion that it is not the only resolution to all critical issues.
Submitted by Partofyourworld on

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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt, presenting a clear and comprehensive response. However, some points may need further development and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and organization. However, the development of some ideas could be further improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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