IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many urgent problems today can only be solved through international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement.

#cooperation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is widely claimed that pressing issues in the world
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 only be fixed by multilateral collaboration. I disagree with the statement ,and my arguments will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it might seem reasonable for some to argue that international cooperation is the only method to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high priority
Add a hyphen
high-priority
show examples
 problems.
This
Linking Words
 is probably because they believe that developed countries might be able to provide assistance to
under developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 countries on crucial matters
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare. Take the coronavirus pandemic,
for example
Linking Words
; governments of wealthy countries have been donating their vaccines to impoverished nations
as well as
Linking Words
 nations that are
unabled
Correct your spelling
unable
enabled
 to produce their own vaccines around the world. From
this
Linking Words
 perspective, it is understandable why some individuals would have the idea that all pressing problems should be handled by inviting the international community to work together.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe that there are several internal problems that could not be resolved solely by international partnerships as issues
such
Linking Words
 as poverty and education should be the responsibility of each government. In my country,
for instance
Linking Words
, unequal access to education requires immediate attention, and it should be the government’s duty to manage their
taxes
Fix the agreement mistake
tax
show examples
 income to tackle the situation. Assuming that each nation does not utilize its own budget to improve the living
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 of its population, There would be no point in imposing taxes on its citizens.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, governments should not entirely rely on assistance from other nations to cope with their domestic concerns. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is undeniable that multilateral cooperation could be greatly beneficial for certain matters, I am of the opinion that it is not the only resolution to all critical issues.
Submitted by Partofyourworld on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay adequately addresses the prompt, presenting a clear and comprehensive response. However, some points may need further development and clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good logical structure and organization. However, the development of some ideas could be further improved to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: