Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Physical activity is an important part of our life.
People
Use synonyms
have various preferences for
sports
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. Some of us are
team
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players. Others think that individual
sports
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bring more benefits. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I will show different relations. It is more beneficial to take part in
sports
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which are played in teams. It is not the primary factor, but I want to take into consideration that
team
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sports
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are more healthy for personal psychological status. It helps
people
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to fill support and avoid feeling lonely.
For instance
Linking Words
, a basketball
team
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can be a real family.
According to
Linking Words
the interview in the “New York Times” every person on the
team
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Chicago Bulls relate to
team
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players as to relatives. They invite each other to Birthdays, weddings,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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Christmas parties. Plus to
this
Linking Words
basketball players spent rather more time on training and
plays
Wrong verb form
playing
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compare to family time. The pleasant atmosphere in the
team
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allows one to feel full of energy and avoid depression. Individual
sports
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have their own benefits. In
such
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kinds of
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sports
Add a comma
,sports
show examples
people
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become more convenient and have strong personalities.
Wonderful
Add an article
A wonderful
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example is Valentin Tailor. In his interview for “The Guardian” he shared how swimming changed his life. Regular training lets
Correct pronoun usage
us grown
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grown
Wrong verb form
grow
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up not only physically but mentally. Every competition proved
him
Change preposition
to him
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his own strength. In individual
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sports
Add a comma
,sports
show examples
you have many rivals, but the best one is yourself.
Therefore
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, after wins and defeats
people
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become stronger,
Correct word choice
and sport
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sport
Change the noun form
sports
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experience goes to their life experience. Having considered both views, I think it is more beneficial to take part in individual
sports
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. My answer is univocal because I have never tried
team
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sports
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, but definitely know
profits
Correct article usage
the profits
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of individual
sports
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.
Submitted by oimigle on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cooperation
  • team spirit
  • sense of belonging
  • community
  • leadership
  • trust
  • collective responsibility
  • dependency
  • self-reliance
  • self-discipline
  • goal setting
  • tailored development
  • flexibility
  • social support
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