Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Physical activity is an important part of our life.
People
have various preferences for sports
. Some of us are team
players. Others think that individual sports
bring more benefits. In this
essay
I will show different relations.
It is more beneficial to take part in Add a comma
,essay
sports
which are played in teams. It is not the primary factor, but I want to take into consideration that team
sports
are more healthy for personal psychological status. It helps people
to fill support and avoid feeling lonely. For instance
, a basketball team
can be a real family. According to
the interview in the “New York Times” every person on the team
Chicago Bulls relate to team
players as to relatives. They invite each other to Birthdays, weddings, even
Christmas parties. Plus to Correct word choice
and even
this
basketball players spent rather more time on training and plays
compare to family time. The pleasant atmosphere in the Wrong verb form
playing
team
allows one to feel full of energy and avoid depression.
Individual sports
have their own benefits. In such
kinds of sports
Add a comma
,sports
people
become more convenient and have strong personalities. Wonderful
example is Valentin Tailor. In his interview for “The Guardian” he shared how swimming changed his life. Regular training lets Add an article
A wonderful
Correct pronoun usage
us grown
grown
up not only physically but mentally. Every competition proved Wrong verb form
grow
him
his own strength. In individual Change preposition
to him
sports
you have many rivals, but the best one is yourself. Add a comma
,sports
Therefore
, after wins and defeats people
become stronger, Correct word choice
and sport
sport
experience goes to their life experience.
Having considered both views, I think it is more beneficial to take part in individual Change the noun form
sports
sports
. My answer is univocal because I have never tried team
sports
, but definitely know profits
of individual Correct article usage
the profits
sports
.Submitted by oimigle on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite