IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The percentages of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the most recent reasons for arrest

#percentages #persons #five #years #arrest
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The Pie and bar charts give information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals and the most common reasons for arrest from 1989 to 1994
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of arrested
males
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than
females
Use synonyms
 rate, and public drinking is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 most recent reason for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both genders
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of arrested
men
Use synonyms
 is more than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 32% and 9%, respectively. 91% of
women
Use synonyms
 have not done any
types
Fix the agreement mistake
type
show examples
 of
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
males
Use synonyms
 are 68%.
The drink
Correct article usage
Drink
show examples
 driving is the second
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 reason among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
 which is approximately 26%,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the females’
show examples
females’
Change noun form
females
show examples
 percentage is about 14%. A lot of
males
Use synonyms
 and
females
Use synonyms
 have
arrested
Add a missing verb
been arrested
show examples
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public drinking, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 approximately 31% and 37% respectively.
Moreover
Linking Words
, breach of order
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 of the reasons for arrest.
As a result
Linking Words
, about 18% of
men
Use synonyms
 and 12% of
women
Use synonyms
 have
arrested
Add a missing verb
been arrested
show examples
. Approximately 17% of
males
Use synonyms
 and 19% of
females
Use synonyms
 are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
assault. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 who are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prison
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
theft
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 about 16% and 13%, respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are prisoners who arrested
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 no reason, it is about 19% of
males
Use synonyms
 and 18% of
females
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 prisoners with unknown reasons which are about 5% of
males
Use synonyms
 and 7%.
Submitted by muharodnoy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: