In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.
In many countries across the globe, lightening or whitening skin-care products are in profitable demand. There are many reasons behind
this
issue, yet several consequences affect people’s health and their society itself. I will elaborate in subsequent paragraphs.
The hegemony of white beauty standards in the world is the major reason why individuals are inclined to purchase whiting and lightening cosmetic goods. It is undeniable that advertisement plays a pivotal role in Linking Words
this
case. Taking Indonesia as an example, many celebrities, who have white or light skin, are adored by many fans and become role models in beauty terms. Linking Words
Not to mention
that the cosmetic company hires them as their brand ambassador. Linking Words
As a result
, having white sheaths is an aspiration of many populations, and they have a tendency to buy white cream.
Linking Words
Nonetheless
, Linking Words
this
trend affects in many ways both health and social perspectives. In the community, folk who do not follow the social skin standard tend to experience underestimated. Linking Words
Consequently
, many people push themselves to be white, and they impulsively buy cosmetics without considering the detrimental impacts on their healthy skin. Linking Words
For example
, many whitening products are expensive and no one can afford Linking Words
that
. Correct pronoun usage
them
However
, because the willingness to be white is huge, they tend to buy cheaper products which contain hazardous ingredients that Linking Words
caused
severe surface diseases Wrong verb form
cause
such
as cancer and irritation.
Linking Words
To sum up
, the dominance of white beauty standards significantly influences the demands of whitening and lightening cosmetics. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
this
trend causes prophesied consequences for dangerous illnesses that should be taken into account.Linking Words
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on
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extended advice
Task Response: The essay addresses the topic by outlining the reasons for using whitening products and discussing the effects on health and society. However, the explanation of the consequences on health and society could be more detailed and developed to provide a more comprehensive response.
extended advice
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported and linked cohesively. However, the explanation of the consequences could be further developed to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.
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