In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

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In many countries across the globe, lightening or whitening skin-care products are in profitable demand. There are many reasons behind

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issue, yet several consequences affect people’s health and their society itself. I will elaborate in subsequent paragraphs. The hegemony of white beauty standards in the world is the major reason why individuals are inclined to purchase whiting and lightening cosmetic goods. It is undeniable that advertisement plays a pivotal role in

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case. Taking Indonesia as an example, many celebrities, who have white or light skin, are adored by many fans and become role models in beauty terms.

Not to mention

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that the cosmetic company hires them as their brand ambassador.

As a result

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, having white sheaths is an aspiration of many populations, and they have a tendency to buy white cream.

Nonetheless

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this

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trend affects in many ways both health and social perspectives. In the community, folk who do not follow the social skin standard tend to experience underestimated.

Consequently

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, many people push themselves to be white, and they impulsively buy cosmetics without considering the detrimental impacts on their healthy skin.

For example

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, many whitening products are expensive and no one can afford

that

Correct pronoun usage

them

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However

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, because the willingness to be white is huge, they tend to buy cheaper products which contain hazardous ingredients that

caused

Wrong verb form

cause

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severe surface diseases

such

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as cancer and irritation.

To sum up

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, the dominance of white beauty standards significantly influences the demands of whitening and lightening cosmetics.

Moreover

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this

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trend causes prophesied consequences for dangerous illnesses that should be taken into account.

ieltscuns2022Thu Jun 15 2023

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extended advice

Task Response: The essay addresses the topic by outlining the reasons for using whitening products and discussing the effects on health and society. However, the explanation of the consequences on health and society could be more detailed and developed to provide a more comprehensive response.

extended advice

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported and linked cohesively. However, the explanation of the consequences could be further developed to enhance the overall coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Skin lightening
Whitening products
Cultural standards
Beauty ideals
Media portrayal
Socioeconomic status
Colorism
Self-esteem
Toxic ingredients
Hydroquinone
Mercury
Melanin
Dermatological health
Consumer awareness
Regulatory bodies
Ethical marketing
Natural remedies

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In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

Your opinion

In certain nations, parents have high academic expectations for their children, resulting in limited leisure time. What could be the potential benefits and drawbacks of this for the children and the society they are part of?

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

In some cultures, children’s are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?