Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Inflation has been plaguing the world these days. When life becomes harder, citizens usually blame it on the government, believing their most essential duty is to resolve financial problems for society.
However
, sociologists might argue the opposite, claiming that there are other issues
which are needed
Wrong verb form
that need to
show examples
be solved by public power. In the following essay, I will discuss both viewpoints and explain why I align with the former idea. On the one hand, economic status is deemed the power of a nation so the financial development of a nation is the most significant duty of the authority. Government revenue can be used to improve public facilities or reduce poverty even when the global economic situation is difficult.
For example
, the Taiwan government
use
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used
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public funds to secure the stock market during the pandemic. By stabilizing the stock price, foreign investment can be kept in the market
and
Correct word choice
apply
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which saves small businesses from breaking down.
In other words
, consistently making profits from imports is a contributing factor to a country's success.
On the other hand
, some sociologists believe refining laws, the ones that could violate human rights
in particular
,
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
vital for society.
For instance
, the advancement of technology invites new forms of crime,
such
as cyberbullying. Without adding new rules timely, the crime rates can increase to some degree and cause safety issues.
Nevertheless
, I believe that legislation to fight against crimes is not as urgent as making financial progress in the country. As
this
kind of misbehaviour can be changed in many ways and sometimes amending new laws is not the most effective approach to reducing crimes. Take cyberbullying as an example, properly educating the kids who suffer from it or participate in it can be more efficient than using practical laws to sentence their crimes. In conclusion, despite the fact that some councillors might place pressure on the
authority
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authorities
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and demand them to change or make new obligations to repel criminals, I opine that the
authority
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authorities
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should focus on the economic growth of the country and
then
consider improving other issues.
Submitted by qooe212156822000 on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction provides an overview of both viewpoints, but it is not clearly structured or engaging. The conclusion should summarize the main points and give a clear opinion. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the final paragraph.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints and provides examples to support each, showing a good level of task response. However, the examples provided need more elaboration and analysis to strengthen the argument. It is also important to clearly state and support your own opinion.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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