Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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For many, the key to reducing traffic incidents is to impose stricter punishment for driving offences. But for others, the focus should be on different methods. The domain in which most crimes are committed is in driving. It happens on a daily basis, to the point that most drivers are completely desensitized with the law.

This

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is a big problem:

for example

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, speeding. Everybody drives over the speed limit, even though it is prohibited.

However

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, high-speed car crashes are the most deadly, for both driver and pedestrian. So it is not a stupid idea to make rules more severe if an infraction is ever committed.

This

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would make citizens more cautious, leading to fewer accidents and more responsible conductors. Even if some of the accidents that can happen on the road are

due to

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a driver not following the rules, other causes cannot be ignored. Take potholes ,

for instance

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. They are dangerous, cause many deaths, yet they are not in any case created by a person not applying the law.

Nonetheless

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, if we only consider the human factor, we will not account for other problems, sometimes much more serious and dangerous

for

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show examples

human lives than any other.

Thus

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, we must face every issue with road safety appropriately , depending on its threat level.

To conclude

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, stricter punishment for violation of the law may help increase road safety by a considerable margin,but

Ibelieve

Correct your spelling

I believe

that it should not be the only focus. We need to address every single issue if we want to make a greater impact, and it starts with recognising all of our problems.

santos_dij

Jun 15, 2023

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task response

Answer both sides more fully. You talk about strict punishment and other causes, but the second side needs more on other ways to make roads safe, like road checks, driver learning, and better signs.

task response

Give your opinion more clearly in the body, not only at the end. This will make your main idea easier to follow.

task response

Use more clear and true support for each main point. Some ideas are too broad, like saying most crimes happen in driving.

coherence and cohesion

Make topic sentences simpler and more direct. This helps the reader see the plan of each paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some parts jump fast from one point to another. Use clear links like 'First', 'Also', 'In contrast', and 'As a result'.

coherence and cohesion

Develop each main point with one clear example and one short result. This will make each paragraph stronger and easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and a clear ending.

task response

You discuss both views and give your own opinion.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a basic paragraph plan, so it is easy to follow in general.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
repeat offenses
infrastructure improvements
public awareness campaigns
reckless driving
traffic management technologies
intelligent traffic lights
speed cameras
public transportation
minimize
enhance safety
allocate funds
road signs
road safety

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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

When children start school, teachers have more influence on their intellectual and social development than their parent. To what extent do you agree or disagree

5.Employers should give their staff at least a 4-week holiday a year. It can make them perform better in their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving their first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?