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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

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Nowadays, a lot of toys, ranging from simple dolls to complicated electronic gadgets like video games, are provided for some children by their parents. There are several upsides and downsides regarding
this
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 matter. One of the important advantages of Scion having lots of dolls is that there are different games for them to play. They can choose one of their trinkets
according to
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 their mood and taste and are less likely to become bored.
Besides
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, they would certainly be able to learn a wider variety of skills like problem-solving or organization. Different playthings can teach them different things, which means that the more plaything they have, the more they are likely to learn.
However
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, having a lot of different playthings could possibly lead to their becoming overweight since many modern trinkets like video games and LEGOs, which are very common these days, are usually played indoors.
Therefore
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, they would definitely reduce the offspring’s physical activity, leading them to gain extra weight.
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, when kids have too many dolls, it is likely that they will take less care of them.
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, they will probably not learn to value them if there is always a replacement ready to play with.
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, they would not learn to appreciate their belongings. In conclusion, I believe that children benefit from an abundance of puppets which offer them variety,
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 teach them more varied skills.
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, it is important that they keep an active lifestyle and are taught to value every toy.

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task response
Your essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of children having a large number of toys, which fulfills the task requirements. The ideas presented are relevant and contribute to a clear and comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is fairly clear, but there are some areas where the connection between ideas could be improved. Consider using transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of your essay.
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