children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures

In today's world kids are encountering more

pressure

education

social

Correct word choice

and social

show examples

and commercial aspects of their lives. There are some reasons causing these pressures.

Although

, many solutions can be used to tackle

this

issues

Fix the agreement mistake

issue

show examples

. Many factors can contribute to

this

issue.

Firstly

due to

the higher

achivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

achievement

of new generation parents, they put much higher

pressure

on their child to attend an upper

education

approach.

Such

pressure

along side

Correct your spelling

alongside

show examples

perfectionistic academies leads to a demanding desire for young students to be

the

Change preposition

at the

show examples

top of their class.

Secondly

, as social networks are developing significantly, lifestyle comparison becomes

real

Replace the word

really

show examples

easy.

This

comparing lifestyle

Change preposition

show examples

a few frames of one's life could be really misleading and dangerous.

For example

, if a kid sees a picture of somebody's graduation day, he can

concive

Correct your spelling

conclude

that academic

achivements

Correct your spelling

achievements

are without a hustle because he did not see what the graduate has been through to get to

this

point.

Such

conception could lead to a

person

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person's

show examples

dissatisfaction

Change preposition

with

show examples

their progress and

feel

Wrong verb form

feeling

show examples

a huge

pressure

on themselves to improve their

life

Replace the word

lives

show examples

socially.

However

this

problem can be addressed by employing some solutions. For one,

while

academia should provide counselling for all, children should seek mental health. These measures can help one to plan for the future without

Correct article usage

the perressure

show examples

perressure

Correct your spelling

pressure

of being perfect. After

all

Add a comma

,all

show examples

humans should try to live as the best version of themselves and stop comparing their lives with each other.

Furthermore

, parents should put

limitation

Fix the agreement mistake

limitations

show examples

social

Add an article

the social

show examples

media usage of their children.

Also

, kids should consider using better platforms which can be used just for

education

and entertainment purposes. Social media can be sickening and overwhelming because of its effects on

uncontiouns

Correct your spelling

unconscious

that

results

Correct subject-verb agreement

result

show examples

deppression

Correct your spelling

depression

and anxiety.

To conclude

, parents insist on

persuing

Correct your spelling

pursuing

show examples

of higher

education

and comparing life

Change preposition

show examples

social media platforms are the main causes of

this

issue.

However

, by going to therapy and limiting social networks youngsters can reduce these pressures.

Submitted by amirhossein1376 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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for instance
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to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

320 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic pressure
globalized world
competitive education system
social media influences
cyberbullying
commercial pressures
aggressive marketing
materialistic desires
peer pressure
high expectations
standardized testing
quantifiable performance
stress and anxiety
extracurricular achievements

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children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that qualities of person needs to become a successful in today's world cannot be learn at university or similar academy institution to what action do you agree or disagree?

Many people aim to achieve balance between work and life, but only a few people achieve it. What problems will be caused by poor work-life balance? How can its negative impacts be prevented?

More and more people in their free time are doing dangerous activities such as mounting climbing. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people have been in prison become good citizens later. Some say that these are the best people to talk to school students about the danger of commiting a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Topic: some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.