Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than working together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is certainly true today in many countries
students
taught
Add a missing verb
are taught
show examples
to compete in classrooms
instead
of
collaboration
Replace the word
collaborating
show examples
. In my opinion, the demerits of
encourage
Change the verb form
encouraging
show examples
students
to compete against
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
peers outweigh the merits. On the one hand, there are several benefits of
incentivize
Wrong verb form
incentivising
show examples
pupils to compete. To start with, compete can motivate
children
to do their best.
In other words
,
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
show examples
children
to compete can push
children
to work hard and increase their knowledge in
order
to pass exams to accomplish higher scores, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can improve the quality of
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
advantage,
compete
Replace the word
competitive
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
can help
children
in their professional life.
This
is because the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
world has become more competitive.
For example
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people desire to have
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
should compete with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
applicants to get
this
job, which means
this
can push individuals to improve their
CV
Fix the agreement mistake
CVs
show examples
. On the
ther
Correct your spelling
other
hand, I believe that
motivate
Wrong verb form
motivating
show examples
children
to compete in classrooms can bring negative impacts.
Firstly
,
compete
Replace the word
competition
show examples
can make
students
under a lot of pressure .
This
is because
children
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
study hard in
order
to achieve higher grades than
peers
Correct pronoun usage
their peers
show examples
,
then
maybe they neglect their health and only concentrate on
compete
Change the form of the verb
competing
show examples
.
For example
, some
children
study for
late
Add an article
a late
the late
show examples
time in
order
to win
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
compete
Replace the word
competition
show examples
,which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can have harmful impacts, particularly body of
children
under
Change preposition
in
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
stage.
Secondly
, some
children
maybe use fake ways to win in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitions.
For instance
, some
children
maybe take drugs in
order
to increase their performance in football
compeititons
Correct your spelling
competitions
competition
in school.
To sum up
,
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
students
to compete can bring more downsides than upsides,
this
is because
compete
Replace the word
competition
show examples
make
students
under stress and maybe they use unethical methods to win
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competitions.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • personal growth
  • competitive edge
  • work ethic
  • strive for
  • peer pressure
  • stress/anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • collaboration
  • critical thinking
  • professional environments
  • dishonest tactics
  • teamwork
  • interpersonal skills
  • educational collaboration
  • sense of community
  • shared goals
  • balance
  • mitigate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: