Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth then for their achievements, and this sets a bed example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

These days, celebrities are usually well-known for their beauty and financial status rather than their accomplishments and

that is

being said to, adversely, impacted youngsters. I, personally, am convinced by

this

viewpoint and

this

essay will explain the reasons why. Admittedly, it is not always unacceptable for famous people to present their wealth to the public since

such

factor

Correct article usage

a factor

show examples

may be set as a monetary goal. It inspires the younger generations and aids them to achieve similar successes.

However

, paying too much attention to money can mislead young individuals' focus away from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

important matters as well. An obvious reason why that kind of representation seems to have a negative impact on children is that it may influence an inappropriate mindset in terms of what should they value in life.

In other words

, beauty and appearance may be prioritized over their education.

For instance

instead

of revising for exams after school, students may spend hours shopping, attempting to emulate famous actresses. Another crucial point to consider is the lack of awareness regarding the value of money. Take Celebrities on Instagram as a prime example. They merely show their success in

Correct article usage

the

show examples

form of luxury products they own and, certainly, fail to mention

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their achievement and effort itself.

Therefore

this

may have the youngsters believe that money comes easily and can be taken for granted. In conclusion, I am convinced that the accomplishments of celebrities should not be overshadowed since it is the real key to obtaining successful life. Wealth and beauty, meanwhile, motivate young people only to a certain point and

then

disappear.

Submitted by meenii0427 on Thu Jun 15 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth then for their achievements, and this sets a bed example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, there are a lot of students who commit suicide each year. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Nowadays both scientists and tourists can go to remote natural environments such asthe South Pole. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that in many cities around the world there are constant traffic jams. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from owning cars?