Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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As an introduction, currently, with the advancement of global development and urbanisation, the proportion of people with non-communicable diseases is steadily rising.

As a result

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, many of them are seeking alternative methods of recovering other than consulting their family physician.

However

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, I believe that

this

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is a hazardous step regarding health, as

this

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will lead to poor control and increase complications of the illnesses, which will ultimately result in reduced life expectancy. Most countries have well-organised healthcare systems in order to decrease mortality and morbidity of long-term illnesses.

Instead

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, the people seek recovery through some other poor quality systems, which have no evidence in clinical practice.

Hence

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this

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will lead to increase mortality among patients

due to

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poor

overall

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disease management and increase complications.

For example

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, one research in Sri Lanka found out that, the people who default to clinic follow-up for traditional medications presented with a higher number of myocardial infarctions.

On the other hand

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, the family doctor knows the conditions of his patients far better than these low-quality healthcare providers. In

such

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circumstances, doctors provide superior

overall

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care with medications, which have good evidence through clinical trials.

In contrast

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, a number of patients change to alternative medicines as they cannot overcome the rising prices of hospitals and drugs

as well as

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some disbelief in Western pills.

However

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, these problems can be avoided by proper awareness programs and increasing government expenditure on hospitals. In conclusion, in order to cure their long-standing health problems, many civilians try to change their mode of healthcare. Anyhow ,in my opinion, it is a negative development as

this

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will result in higher mortality rates

due to

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various hurdles.

Submitted by anushka75 on Fri Jun 16 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Fully explain your ideas

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative trend?

More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol and as a result, breaking the law. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

The modern life is harmful for people asit bring a lot of preasure and reduce the quality of relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

living in big cities is associated with many problems, what are these problems and how can they be tackled?

Nowadays, education overseas has become more accessible and growing numbers of people send their offspring to study in other countries. However, this trend has its detractors. I strongly believe that the pros far outweigh the cons, and will examine both below.