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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, it is mandatory for school children to wear uniforms. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In numerous nations,
students
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 are required to wear uniforms.
This
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 policy has both advantages and disadvantages, and whether it is beneficial depends on various factors. On the one hand, one key advantage is that the same clothes promote a sense of equality among
students
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. When everyone wears the same attire, it reduces socioeconomic distinctions, fostering a sense of unity and belonging within the institute community and fostering a more inclusive atmosphere. Learners from more affluent houses will not be singled out against the background of those from low-income families.
Moreover
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, the same suits may contribute to a safer environment. With a standardized dress code, it becomes easier for school staff to identify intruders or individuals who do not belong on the premises. In
this
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case
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case,
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 the added security measure can help prevent unauthorized individuals from entering the college and ensure the safety of
students
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.
On the other hand
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, there are drawbacks. A number of argue that it limits
students
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' freedom of expression and stifles their individuality. Wearing the same clothes might hinder their ability to express their unique personalities.
For example
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, pupils who identify themselves in which subculture will not wear the attributes of a given culture and manifest themselves,
this
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 can potentially stifle creativity and self-expression, which are crucial aspects of personal development.
Additionally
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, the financial burden on parents to constantly purchase outfits can be a concern. Not all families can afford to buy multiple sets of uniforms, and the added expense may create financial stress. In conclusion, the advantages and disadvantages of mandatory institute uniforms need to be carefully weighed.
While
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 they promote equality and potentially enhance safety, the restriction on self-expression and the financial burden on the specific circumstances and community.

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your main argument and the reason behind your stance. The introduction could set up the debate more effectively, while the conclusion should summarize your points and clearly state your position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
supported main points
Strive for a more nuanced argument by presenting a balanced view in both paragraphs that discuss advantages and disadvantages, rather than simply listing them.
logical structure
In terms of coherence and cohesion, your ideas are well-structured and there's a logical flow to your essay. However, transitions between points could be improved with phrases that summarize a point before moving on to the next one.
relevant specific examples
While your response is generally well-developed and addresses the task, consider providing concrete examples to illustrate your points. This could involve citing a study or offering a hypothetical scenario that demonstrates the benefits or drawbacks of school uniforms.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify and elaborate on your ideas to ensure that the reader fully understands your arguments. Try to explore each advantage or disadvantage in more depth, rather than merely stating them. Use specific details to back up your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Mandatory
  • Disparities
  • Fostering
  • Belonging
  • Simplifies
  • Self-expression
  • Individuality
  • Entail
  • Additional costs
  • Uniformity
  • Bullying
  • Discrimination
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