The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The given bar chart depicts the usage of three different kinds of fast foods among adolescents in Mauritian in 30 years period from 1985 to 2015. Looking from an

overall

Linking Words

perspective, it is readily apparent that both fried chicken and

hamburgers

Use synonyms

showed broadly similar trends in all years of the data,

while

Linking Words

pizza subsided dramatically and became the least consumed. In 1985, Pizza, which was the highest number, started the data at 60

times

Use synonyms

, and

this

Linking Words

figure fell by more than half in the year 2000, which was replaced by

hamburgers

Use synonyms

and fried chicken, and finished the graph at 10

times

Use synonyms

which was the smallest number. As for

fried

Add an article

the fried

show examples

chicken, it began around 2

times

Use synonyms

in 1985 and

then

Linking Words

showed a dramatic increase in 2000, which overtook

hamburgers

Use synonyms

and pizza,

then

Linking Words

it stable at 60

times

Use synonyms

until 2010 before finishing the statistic and peaked at 62

times

Use synonyms

in the final year surveyed.

Although

Linking Words

hamburgers

Use synonyms

, which started precisely at 10

times

Use synonyms

, were the lowest consumed, it was the highest

overall

Linking Words

by far. By 2015, it became the most popular trend among teenagers in Mauritian at 70

times

Use synonyms

per year.

Submitted by Zolboo on Fri Jun 16 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words hamburgers, times with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

188 words

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The chart illustrates consumption of three kinds of fast food by teenagers in Mauritius from 1985 to 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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