Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely known that having too much sugar may

affect

Verb problem

have

show examples

a bad impact on people's health. Despite

this

Linking Words

issue, most beverages in the store contain numerous sweet materials, which are still widely bought. I believe there should be a policy and follow-up actions to control

this

Linking Words

toxic behaviour. Consuming a lot of carbohydrates leads to appalling diseases,

for example

Linking Words

, obesity and diabetes. Even though several companies already provide a less-sugar version of their product, the public tends to buy the original product caused by there are some people who are not aware, or worse, not paying attention

Linking Words

although

Change preposition

despite

show examples

the

Correct pronoun usage

their

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knowledge of it.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the companies and government should be taking

further

Linking Words

action to solve

this

Linking Words

problem. They may make campaigns to give society knowledge about the causes. It can be done by educating society through social media or pupils at school, since

this

Linking Words

impact may happen to any generation, including adolescent and child who consumes a daily intake of carbohydrate from chocolate or candy.

Moreover

Linking Words

, if the number of unhealthy populations increases, it will

be impacting to

Wrong verb form

impact

show examples

the country since most nations use health assurance

that is

Linking Words

provided by the government.

Consequently

Linking Words

, it will be taking a lot of countries’ allowance. If there is a policy

such

Linking Words

as a sugar tax, the profit can be used for other purposes, to subsidize cancer

for instance

Linking Words

. In summary, I believe increasing carbohydrate product prices will be the best thing to do to engage the public to avoid carbohydrates. The profit can be utilized for other things that are more beneficial.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, society should be aware of the problem by carrying out campaigns and giving education about the disease they are facing if they continue consuming extra carbohydrates.

aslamabelFri Jun 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion could be more explicit and directly related to the topic. The essay could benefit from a more cohesive structure and clearer progression of ideas.

task response

The response to the prompt is lacking in terms of providing a clear and comprehensive argument. The ideas need to be more fully developed with relevant examples and explanations.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

286 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the best way to gather information is through newspapers while others believe in other better ways. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money on constructing new Railways land for very fast trains between cities. Others believe that money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both the views.

Some people believe that hospitals should spend money on equipment. Others think it would be better to spend money hiring doctors and nurses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries it is common for parents to give their children pocket money. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this practice?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?