IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In some cultures, older people are valued most highly. In other cultures, youth is valued more than experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion as to which age should be most valued.

#cultures #people #youth #age
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Respecting elders is considered
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a responsibility of individuals in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 nations
whereas
in
Add the comma(s)
,in
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 other countries,
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of adults is far
important
Correct quantifier usage
more important
show examples
 than the old-age
people
.
This
 essay will discuss both viewpoints and I strongly believe that elders should be respected more than adults as they can provide us
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
lot of experience
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
. To commence with, the humans who believe that working individuals should be encouraged more is because they are considered as the future of the country. To elaborate, adults work hard in different fields have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 abundance of resources in the community
as well as
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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make the
life
 of their loved-ones more easier in terms of having enough food and other necessities of
life
.
In addition
, a survey conducted in the USA (United States of America) revealed that 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of their
youth
 is working to make the nation successful like providing enough resources
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 to eat. In
this
 way,
youth
 should be
honored
Change the spelling
honoured
show examples
 more for their
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
.
However
, I strongly believe that old-age
people
 should be respected more as they can provide a lot of knowledge about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 with their experiences. To elaborate, they used to have more information regarding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how to spend monthly income on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things so that
life
 can be easily managed in terms of money needed to buy sources to eat and to have some savings for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future use. To exemplify, In India, it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a norm to give respect to their elder as they are supposed to be the head of
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 who
run
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runs
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 it and
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time teach their children how to manage things in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
 with their experiences.
As a result
, in some
cultures
Add a comma
,cultures
show examples
 old-age
people
 are more valuable. In conclusion,
Although
youth
 is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the future of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
due to
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
hard-work
Correct your spelling
hard work
show examples
, I strongly believe that older human beings should be respected more as they can teach the
youth
 about the facts of
life
 with their experiences.
Submitted by sukhman.puchd on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • wisdom
  • experience
  • historical context
  • traditional knowledge
  • custodians of culture
  • societal values
  • historical narratives
  • contributions to society
  • long-term perspective
  • energy
  • innovation
  • adaptable
  • driving societal change
  • embracing new ideas
  • economic factors
  • thriving economy
  • productivity
  • physical vitality
  • investing
  • continuous progress
  • advancement
  • social reform
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