These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?

#people #time #activities #mountain #nature

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In the contemporary era, a significant portion of young people tend to spend less time doing exercise or being in nature.

This

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phenomenon is rooted in a plethora of factors and devising a solution necessitates an endeavour including government and stakeholders.

This

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essay will elaborate on some

reasons

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and possible solutions to tackle

this

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problem. On the one hand, there are some

reasons

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why youth refuse to enjoy outdoor activities like jogging or going to picnics.

In other words

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firstly

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, one of the main

reasons

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is advances in technology.

For example

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, numerous studies have consistently found that the majority of teenagers spend 5 hours surfing the internet per day and chatting online with each other rather than meeting themselves in person.

In addition

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to the above reason, many young people have to work long hours daily to cover their life expenses like rent, clothes and food so they leave with a tiny hours to spend in nature or go gym.

On the other hand

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, there are a great amount of brief and simple solutions to tackle

this

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problem. Express in different ways, the government with raise the level of awareness of outdoor activities among the young community not only can they encourage youth to participate in outdoor activities, but they

also

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help to enhance the happiness and healthy lifestyle in the community.

However

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, it should not be forgotten that if the government provides a free ticket for youngsters they would be able to participate in sports centres.

To conclude

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this

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phenomenon has many

reasons

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like the expensive sports centre tickets or social media but simple solutions

such

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as raising awareness of youth and providing affordable or free tickets for clubs can easily tackle

this

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problem.

Submitted by TUTOO on Mon Apr 15 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments, which could make your essay even stronger.

coherence cohesion

Keep working on linking your ideas more smoothly and clearly, ensuring a seamless flow from one paragraph to the next.

coherence cohesion

Consider revisiting paragraph structure to ensure each one starts with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a conclusion or transition where appropriate.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion were clear and effectively framed your essay's argument.

task achievement

You addressed the task thoroughly, providing a balanced discussion of causes and solutions.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay was logical and easy to follow, which helped to present your arguments coherently.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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These days many young people are spending less time doing outdoor activities such as hiking, mountain climbing, and enjoying nature. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage them to do more of these activities?

Fully explain your ideas

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

You fail your monthly KPI and need to report your work performance. Write an email to your manager: Saying why you fail your KPI in this month Explaining your achievements and your failure Stating your solutions how to hit your KPI next month Try to write a minimum of 50 words

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification discuss both these views and give your own opinion