Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

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In recent years,

people

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are gradually taking

pills

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home

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instead

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of checking up with nearby hospitals or doctors. In my opinion, both sides have their advantages and drawbacks. On the one hand, with the technological development of our society, ordinary individuals will prepare some medicines at

home

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such

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as fever

pills

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and cough relief.

People

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can solve the problem at

home

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with the proper medicine, which is convenient and efficient,

moreover

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this

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can save a lot of time

as well as

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money.

This

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also

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can prevent the overloads of hospitals, and medical centres can focus on these patients who really need medical assistance.

On the other hand

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, if

people

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do not take

pills

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in a professional

way

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, which possibly do more harm than good to their bodies.

For example

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overdose

Correct article usage

an overdose

show examples

can make

people

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addicted to

very

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every

show examples

Use synonyms

pills

Fix the agreement mistake

pill

show examples

, and too many antibiotics can make patients' bodies become antibiotic-resistance, which will possibly be incurable for some kinds of disease.

Besides

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that, if

people

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take the totally wrong medicine or have false treatment,

this

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may even cause some permanent medical disasters,

such

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as handicaps, and diabetes.

To sum up

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, when

people

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have some illness, both taking

pills

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home

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or checking with doctors has its own pros and cons. In my perspective,

people

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have the choice to decide to treat themselves in a more responsible

way

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as well as

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efficiency

Replace the word

efficiently

show examples

However

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, it is

also

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individuals' own duty to protect themselves if a medical treatment needs professional consultancy. Only in

such

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way

Correct article usage

a way

show examples

, can a person cure the disease in a more proper

way

Use synonyms

Submitted by leejingsong0808 on Sat Jun 17 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others however believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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