Children are experiencing increasing educational social and commercial pressures. What are the causes? What measures do you think can be taken to reduce them?

In
this
era,
parents
, schools, and even society as a whole have too high expectations of
children
, which puts heavy
pressure
on these
children
. For obvious reasons, striking a balance between study and life appears to be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
troublesome problem
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
our
Change the word
the
show examples
next generation. First of all, it is not difficult to find that the culprit of the high
pressure
on
children
in academic, social, and commercial aspects is the relatively limited quality
educational
Change preposition
of educational
show examples
resources.
This
causes academic competition and the high expectations of
parents
also
put
children
under increasing
pressure
to study. In terms of social
pressure
, intense competition among classmates is likely to lead to hypocrisy and eventually friendship broke down.
In addition
, with the rapid development of the internet, being too addicted to the virtual environment can aggravate stress and even anxiety to a certain extent, and may trigger some potential cyberbullying. At the same time, financial dependence and increased daily living expenses lead to mounting financial pressures.
The plenty
Correct article usage
Plenty
show examples
of advertising is known to be attractive to
children
, so it is easy for them to pester their
parents
to buy expensive or unwanted items.
However
, relieving
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
pressure
is by no means an easy task, and immediate steps should be taken to improve the situation. The government's top priority is to redistribute educational resources in order to provide equal educational opportunities. For
parents
, it is necessary to design a practical learning goal for the child based on the actual situation of the child. They are
also
responsible for cultivating the child's financial awareness and avoiding meaningless spending of money. As far as students themselves are concerned, treating peer competition with a correct attitude and reducing useless social influence is of great significance. In conclusion, kids today are being pushed beyond their means to succeed in the above areas.
Parents
, government, and students are strongly encouraged to do their part in solving
this
issue.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pressures
  • Stress
  • Competition
  • Expectations
  • Peer influence
  • Technology
  • Media
  • Standardization
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Extracurriculars
  • Education reform
  • Financial support
What to do next:
Look at other essays: