IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think advertising may have positive economic effects. Others think has negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with what they are and what they have. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #effects #individuals
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
No one can deny the fact that advertising, whether commercial or public, changes individuals and societies. The changes brought about by advertising, in my opinion, are generally more negative than positive. A positive change is the growth of the economy, as advertising, the most common way for companies to convey information to customers, always brainwashes the audience to promote and encourage consumption.
For example
Linking Words
, many female consumers in China are exposed to various clothing advertisements on the internet every day and
then
Linking Words
 buy in large quantities through online shopping software.
This
Linking Words
 means that garment manufacturers will keep their production lines running 24 hours a day to meet the growing demands of customers, resulting in higher profits.
However
Linking Words
, advertising is the culprit in promoting a luxury lifestyle by creating excess demand, regardless of the potential negative impact on the community. Ordinary people tend to buy things that others have that they don't, because of the psychology of comparison. Even though they don't really need these things, they may still be tempted by elaborate advertising to waste money on them. In extreme cases, they will take loans from banks to satisfy their desires. Worryingly,
this
Linking Words
 includes our next generation too. Young children are tempted by all kinds of beautiful objects, with immature money views. It is difficult for them not to spend money on these things, and when they have it, they will show it to others, which leads to a vicious circle. Unfortunately, in
this
Linking Words
 day and age, our will to resist temptation is often defeated by our growing desires.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I firmly believe that measures must be taken to minimize its negative social impact.
Submitted by y2083749065 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: