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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #pressure #children
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Huge
Correct article usage
A huge
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 amount of
pressure
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 is put on
children
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 by their
parents
Use synonyms
 because
parents
Use synonyms
 believe
taht
Correct your spelling
that
 it is the way to
raising
Wrong verb form
raise
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 a successful child. From
point
Correct article usage
the point
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 of my view, putting
pressure
Use synonyms
 more than they can carry is very harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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children
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 have to
carrying
Change the verb form
carry
show examples
 it. But
also
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 it does not mean that
parents
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 should release them because it is
also
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 harmful. For these
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
parents
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 should set
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
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 to suitable conditions for their
children
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. I agree with that
parents
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 put more than enough
pressure
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 on their
children
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 but they do not know it is the
cruical
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 obstacle
for
Change preposition
to
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 being successful. If more than enough
pressure
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 is given to
children
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 probably they will fail. It might leave some permanent effects on them. It can force
children
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 to accept
to be
Change the verb form
being
show examples
unseccessful
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unsuccessful
successful
person
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people
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 because memories happening in childhood create personality and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 used to failure is
characteristic
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a characteristic
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 feature. To clarify, when someone goes to
Correct article usage
a pshyciatrist
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pshyciatrist
Correct your spelling
psychiatrist
psychiatrists
,
Correct article usage
the pshyciatrist
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pshyciatrist
Correct your spelling
psychiatrist
 tries to learn
client's
Correct article usage
the client's
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 memories belonging to childhood.
That is
Linking Words
 why
parents
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 should not give more than enough
pressure
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, putting a lot of
presure
Correct your spelling
pressure
 can be understandable because
parents
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 know that if they release their
children
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 it it might be
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
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 for their
children
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 to
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 irresponsible.
Due to
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 the fact that personality begins to form in childhood. So
parents
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 should put some
pressure
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 because
that is
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 the key
for
Change preposition
to
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 raising responsible,
hardworker
Correct your spelling
hardworking
hard worker
 adults.
For example
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, in my
country
Add a comma
,country
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 women are more responsible, well-organised and
hardworkers
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hardworking
 than
the
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apply
show examples
men because
parents
Use synonyms
 have been reminded
their
Change preposition
of their
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 responsibilities to their daughters more than they do
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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for
Change preposition
to
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 boys. And
also
Linking Words
, they have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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put
pressure
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 on girls more than boys. In light of these
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
, it can be said easily these are the reason
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why women have more
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 features
needing
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to reached succeed than men. In conclusion,
parents
Use synonyms
 who
wants
Change the verb form
want
show examples
 to raise their
children
Use synonyms
 as
qualified
Add an article
a qualified
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 person put
huge
Add an article
a huge
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 amount of
pressure
Use synonyms
 on their
children
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. Despite the fact that it is
Correct article usage
an extreamly
show examples
extreamly
Correct your spelling
extremely
 wrong
decission
Correct your spelling
decision
 it can be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 sometimes when
balance
Add an article
the balance
show examples
 is achieved.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • extracurricular activities
  • prosperous future
  • societal standards
  • peer competition
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • unfulfilled ambitions
  • resource availability
  • opportunity exploitation
What to do next:
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