Nowaday, more and more people commit crimes. What are causes and solutions?

#nowaday #people #crimes

Thisdays

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This day's

myriad of

crime

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crimes

show examples

happened in society. We will discuss upcoming paragraphs what are problems and how to prevent them.

To begin

with one of

possible

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the possible

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reason

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reasons

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Change preposition

for that

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that

Correct determiner usage

the

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development of technology

because

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is because

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there are many labour

job

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jobs

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reduce

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reduced

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by machinery. People who are not

worked

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working

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therefore

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,therefore

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, illegal activities are

choiced

Correct your spelling

chosen

by them for living.

Beside

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Besides

show examples

this

, another cause of many people engaging in criminal activities could be the popularity of the Internet. Especially children

are

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apply

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learnt inappropriate content

violent

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from violent

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movies or programs.

This

type of thing

bring

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brings

show examples

negative

Correct article usage

a negative

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effect on their mental development. To be more dangerous they may have

imitate

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to imitate

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what they watch on television or

Internet

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the Internet

show examples

This

is a factor behind

murdering

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murder

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Apart from

this

, several solutions can be

adopted

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adapted

show examples

this

issue.

Firstly

Government should be arranged for

job

seeker

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seekers

show examples

to find

job

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a job

the job

show examples

or give them

training

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a training

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program to according the

job

. Do not let them free. If everyone

busy

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is busy

show examples

with their work so can be reduced criminal activities.

Secondly

, parents should be checked what kind of content

watching

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watched

show examples

by children. They have to overcome their kids to watch good movies or programs which

have

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do have

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not

bad

Correct article usage

a bad

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effect on their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. In conclusion, many reasons can be given to explain why more and more people commit crimes and several actions that can be taken to control

this

issue.

Submitted by jkaram811 on Sat Jun 17 2023

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

221 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowaday, more and more people commit crimes. What are causes and solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on diﬀerent days. Write at least 150 words.

Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.   Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.