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The bar chart compares the proportion of 4 divers transportations usage throughout the commuting to work in one of European city in 3 separate years 1960, 1980 and 2000. The unit is measured in the percentage.

The bar chart compares the proportion of 4 divers transportations usage throughout the commuting to work in one of European city in 3 separate years 1960, 1980 and 2000. The unit is measured in the percentage.
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The bar chart below displays, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of 4 different kinds of
transportation
Use synonyms
 utilized by divers to approach their destination, in a European city through 3 different years 1960, 1980 and 2000. In 1960, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 walked to work and other
people
Use synonyms
 used bikes, buses, or
cars
Use synonyms
 in order to get to their destinations. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used bikes,
cars
Use synonyms
, buses and
people
Use synonyms
 who walked to their destinations, respectively is 26%, 18%, 5% and 34%, which again shows that most
people
Use synonyms
 preferred to walk. Twenty years later, in 1980, the proportions of
people
Use synonyms
 who walked and used their bike decreased slightly and respectively dropped to 17% and 20%.
Although
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used their
cars
Use synonyms
 experienced a significant increase and jumped from 5% to 24%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used the bus for
transportation
Use synonyms
 increased gradually by 7%. In 2000, the highest and lowest rate of transport modes belongs to car and bike respectively.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, we witness that the 3 types of
transportation
Use synonyms
 bus, foot and bike, fell steadily at 15%,9%, and 6% respectively. Meanwhile, the usage of
cars
Use synonyms
 ascended widely and reached a peak of 35%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, year by year the usage of vehicles and public
transportation
Use synonyms
 increased.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, transportation, people, cars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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