Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Some individuals believe that community service should become compulsory for all adolescents in their leisure time. I strongly believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
voluntary
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
can be advantageous for personal and professional life for individuals and
also
for
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why I believe that unpaid
work
can have
a positive impacts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive impact
positive impacts
show examples
on the
teens
as well as
the whole
society
.
Regardig
Correct your spelling
Regarding
teens
,
teens
can learn from working as volunteers many skills namely, communication, problem solving,
making
Correct word choice
and making
show examples
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
This
is because working as
volunteer
Add an article
a volunteer
show examples
can make
teens
engage with real life and learn from
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people.
For instance
,
teens
who
work
unpaid
work
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
local
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
can gain
experience
Change preposition
in
show examples
how to deal and communicate with patients , which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
soft skills.
Furthermore
, working unsalaried can
perpare
Correct your spelling
prepare
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers for
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
future
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
This
is because unpaid
work
is considered
experience
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most companies
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
require
experience
from applicants, which means
teens
who have voluntary
experience
are more likely to get better job
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of
society
, voluntary
work
can contribute to
fights
Replace the word
fighting
show examples
diseases .
For instance
, when the Covid-19 pandemic , many hospitals around the world required volunteers in order to raise awareness among the public
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
to stay healthy and prevent
spread
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
Change preposition
of this
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
viurs
Correct your spelling
viruses
.
Moreover
, voluntary
work
can help adolescents to exploit their free time
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
valuable
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
instead
of
commite
Correct your spelling
commit
commute
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
or using drugs, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can assist to reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violence in
society
. In conclusion, I totally believe voluntary
work
sholud
Correct your spelling
should
be obligatory for all adolescents ,
becaue
Correct your spelling
because
it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a positive effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive effect
positive effects
show examples
on
teens
themselves
as well as
society
.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: