The maps below show the center of a small town called Birshire as it is now ,and plans for its development.

The maps below show the center of a small town called Birshire as it is now ,and plans for its development.
The two maps illustrate how Birshire is planned to be developed.
Overall
Birshire will have undergone a transformation from a rural town into an urbanized area in the future.There will have been significant in terms of removals, expansions, replacements, and additions. First and foremost all the farms of Birshire will have been removed in the future.Griffiths farm which is located in the northeast will have been replaced with the supermarket.Hoolahan farm will have been replaced with parking a lot,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
the farmer's market which is just next to Carbia Road will have been demolished. When we look at the map in detail,we can
also
see other alterations that are worth noting.That street will be expanded to the west.The open field which is in the southeast will be the venue of construction for the sports centre.The public park will have remained untouched.On the west of the map,there will be additional houses . The shop will have been destroyed to erect more houses.
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: