The maps below show the center of a small town called Birshire as it is now ,and plans for its development.

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The two maps illustrate how Birshire is planned to be developed.

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Birshire will have undergone a transformation from a rural town into an urbanized area in the future.There will have been significant in terms of removals, expansions, replacements, and additions. First and foremost all the farms of Birshire will have been removed in the future.Griffiths farm which is located in the northeast will have been replaced with the supermarket.Hoolahan farm will have been replaced with parking a lot,

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apply

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moreover

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the farmer's market which is just next to Carbia Road will have been demolished. When we look at the map in detail,we can

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see other alterations that are worth noting.That street will be expanded to the west.The open field which is in the southeast will be the venue of construction for the sports centre.The public park will have remained untouched.On the west of the map,there will be additional houses . The shop will have been destroyed to erect more houses.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Sat Jun 17 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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3
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

160 words

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The maps below show the center of a small town called Birshire as it is now ,and plans for its development.

Some people believe that in order to give opportunities to new generations, companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire.Do you agree or disagree?

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on laand and in sea l.What are the reasons and solutions?

the advantages and disadvantages of technology in education

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that chilren should go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.