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Writing Samples
Band 5

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

In our current times, a significant augmentation of
house husbands
Correct your spelling
househusbands
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 is taking place leaving their
wifes
Correct your spelling
wives
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 to work
while
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 taking care of the children.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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why
that is
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 occurring
due to
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 changes in our lifestyle and how it is a positive indicator of our development.
Stay at home
Add a hyphen
Stay-at-home
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 fathers are more frequent throughout the years and it is a repercussion of our current lifestyle.
Such
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 as our approach
on
Change preposition
to
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gender
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 equality and the repartition of roles following it.
Gender
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 equality is one of the main reasons for
this
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 phenomenon. Where the husband,
instead
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 of commanding and leaving house care to his wife, opts for a more comprehensive approach.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
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 means both parents take responsibility
of
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for
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 their duties and choose their roles based on their merit and abilities. In that case, it explains the rise of
house husbands
Correct your spelling
househusbands
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, which could be done by the decreasing number of housewives.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2020 in Glasgow, a
couple
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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adopted
this
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 way of life and now feels more relieved, feeling great
of
Change preposition
about
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 the role they both have chosen. Since
then
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 their whole neighborhood has adopted
this
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 way of life. These occurrences are positive as they enhance the life of millions of households, by giving a chance to each
couple
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, to do what they want. The positive effect of
this
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 “abnormality” is clear, it brings couples to a new level of comprehension without any restriction
nor
Correct word choice
or
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 obligation
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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gender
Use synonyms
.
This
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 encourages the flourishment of each of the parent's capacities and
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
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 without holding back.
For instance
Linking Words
, a
couple
Use synonyms
 in Mexico
,
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apply
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 has been known in their
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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 for being in a toxic relationship in 2022, but since 2024, they found out, with the help of friends from Glasgow, that
gender
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 doesn't matter in a
relationship '
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relationship's
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roles. Now, the
couple
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 lives happily together, with the father taking care of the children and home, and the mother going out working. In conclusion, these repeating cases are an indicator of happiness and evolution for households.
It’s
Correct your spelling
Its
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 positive impact can only be explained by the increasing amount of people gaining
conscience
Correct article usage
a conscience
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 of how superficial and wrong patriarchy was.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that connects to the topic. This will help guide the reader through your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use simpler sentences to clarify your ideas. This will make it easier for readers to follow your points.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your essay stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have a clear thesis statement in your introduction, which outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your main points well and reinforces your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • breadwinner
  • caregiving
  • paternal leave
  • societal perceptions
  • gender roles
  • flexible working conditions
  • personal preference
  • father-child relationship
  • emotional and social development
  • household responsibilities
  • career opportunities
  • professional achievements
  • balanced parenting
  • earning potential
  • social stigma
  • societal pressure
  • discrimination
  • traditional mindsets
  • resentment
  • adjustment
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