Topic: many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#topic #people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

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One of the most controversial issues today is related of spend more hours at

work

Use synonyms

. So no time for any entertainment and free time. I think the disadvantage outweighs the advantages. In

this

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essay, I’m going to examine

this

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question and write my own opinion. On the one hand of view, staying longer at

work

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affect your social

life

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Moreover

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, might be reduced your communication with your family and friends.

Although

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, you will miss many of the celebrations.

Additionally

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, working for long hours makes you feel depressed. One good illustration of

this

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is Japan had the most rated depression and suicide.

Thus

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, employees

work

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for 17 hours per day.

On the other hand

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of view, there are a few advantages.

Firstly

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, you will be successful in your

work

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and have more experience than others.

Secondly

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, staying in the office longer than your colleague makes your manager trust you much more.

Also

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, Many people decided their first years on the job, had to be more

work

Use synonyms

and little free time. So that makes them in a good position and have a higher salary.

For example

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, my father when I was a child was not around us he was always at

work

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However

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now I’m so proud and grateful to have a dad like him, he made our

life

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convenient

also

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I do not need to think about money. In conclusion, it seems to me the disadvantages outweigh the benefits, it is really effective in a bad way in your

life

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nothing deserved to lose your

life

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and to feel depressed. Leisure is not luxury it is necessary.

Submitted by maryamabugela on Sat Jun 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic: many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that genetically modified (GM) crops are a positive development. Others, however, argue that they are potentially dangerous. Discuss both these views andgive your own opinion.

Some people think that illegal internet download are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give own opinion.

The plans below show a student room for two people and a student room for one person at an Australian university.

The world of work is rapidly changing and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Why is it the case? Can you suggest some ways to prepare people to work in the future?