Topic: many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

#topic #people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation

One of the most controversial issues today is related of spend more hours at

work

. So no time for any entertainment and free time. I think the disadvantage outweighs the advantages. In

this

essay, I’m going to examine

this

question and write my own opinion. On the one hand of view, staying longer at

work

affect your social

life

Moreover

, might be reduced your communication with your family and friends.

Although

, you will miss many of the celebrations.

Additionally

, working for long hours makes you feel depressed. One good illustration of

this

is Japan had the most rated depression and suicide.

Thus

, employees

work

for 17 hours per day.

On the other hand

of view, there are a few advantages.

Firstly

, you will be successful in your

work

and have more experience than others.

Secondly

, staying in the office longer than your colleague makes your manager trust you much more.

Also

, Many people decided their first years on the job, had to be more

work

and little free time. So that makes them in a good position and have a higher salary.

For example

, my father when I was a child was not around us he was always at

work

However

now I’m so proud and grateful to have a dad like him, he made our

life

convenient

also

I do not need to think about money. In conclusion, it seems to me the disadvantages outweigh the benefits, it is really effective in a bad way in your

life

nothing deserved to lose your

life

and to feel depressed. Leisure is not luxury it is necessary.

Submitted by maryamabugela on Sat Jun 17 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic: many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do.

Science could help people live up to 100 or 200 years. Would it be a good or bad development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Reading paper materials is better than watching electronic devices to gain information. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Some peole tend ti take temporary jobs (they only work for few month of year), for they have time to do other things. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?