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Band 5.5

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#generations #people #life
It is true that when it comes to how someone
expected
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is expected
show examples
 to live,
people
 from older generations have very traditional ideas about it.
While
 I agree that traditional ideas are outdated, there
is
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are
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 still valuable things from older
people
. In
this
 essay, I will explain and give
accurate
Add an article
an accurate
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 conclusion. On the one hand,
lifestyle
Correct article usage
the lifestyle
show examples
 from
old
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the old
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time
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times
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 is definitely less relevant to
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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 generation at
this
 time. Back in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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,
people
 have to obtain
the
Correct article usage
a
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third level
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third-level
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 education and shortly after that, they are hired
a
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by a
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company with fame and dignity,
worked
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and worked
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 there until their pension.
However
, nowadays it doesn't matter individual
have
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does have
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 not a
bachelor
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bachelor's
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 degree when he or she can do their task. To cite an example,
The
Correct article usage
apply
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Tesla which is owned by Elon Musk, recently hired a
fourteen year old
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fourteen-year-old
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 boy who has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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great IT
skill
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skills
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. In the second place, traditional roles of men and women, breadwinners and housewives,
no
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are no
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 more accepted for young adults. Nowadays, they choose their role depending on their income and career opportunities.
On the other hand
, there is still some beneficial piece of advice from grandparents. To be exact, some
action
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actions
show examples
such
 as
,
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apply
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 being
a
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apply
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honest, hardworking and respectful
with
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of
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 other
people
 are still helpful for
youngster
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youngsters
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for
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to
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 survive
this
 competitive universe. To put it another way, in our globalized world, young adults always need to contact and connect with
people
 from
huge
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a huge
the huge
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 variety of
background
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backgrounds
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,
as a result
 being
with
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in
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 good
manner
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manners
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 and
politeness
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polite
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 will surely become their advantage,
in addition
, doing their best in
workplace
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the workplace
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 will give
also
further
 job promotion, an increase of income and so on.
For instance
, BTS,
Korean
Correct article usage
a Korean
show examples
 boy band,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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worked more than 10 years for their debut and success with their true hard work and
endeavor
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endeavour
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, now there are most famous band not only in Korea
,
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apply
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 but
also
in
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide. In conclusion, traditional
view
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views
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 are not accepted by
people
 from
this
 generation
also
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and also
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 often seem incompatible,
however
, we should not ignore all
advise
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advice
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of
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from
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 them.
Submitted by llbayarmaa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
What to do next:
Look at other essays: