The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

It is true that when it comes to how someone
expected
Add a missing verb
is expected
show examples
to live,
people
from older generations have very traditional ideas about it.
While
I agree that traditional ideas are outdated, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
still valuable things from older
people
. In
this
essay, I will explain and give
accurate
Add an article
an accurate
show examples
conclusion. On the one hand,
lifestyle
Correct article usage
the lifestyle
show examples
from
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
is definitely less relevant to
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
generation at
this
time. Back in
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
,
people
have to obtain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
third level
Add a hyphen
third-level
show examples
education and shortly after that, they are hired
a
Change preposition
by a
show examples
company with fame and dignity,
worked
Correct word choice
and worked
show examples
there until their pension.
However
, nowadays it doesn't matter individual
have
Add a missing verb
does have
show examples
not a
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
degree when he or she can do their task. To cite an example,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Tesla which is owned by Elon Musk, recently hired a
fourteen year old
Add a hyphen
fourteen-year-old
show examples
boy who has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great IT
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
. In the second place, traditional roles of men and women, breadwinners and housewives,
no
Add a missing verb
are no
show examples
more accepted for young adults. Nowadays, they choose their role depending on their income and career opportunities.
On the other hand
, there is still some beneficial piece of advice from grandparents. To be exact, some
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
being
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
honest, hardworking and respectful
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
other
people
are still helpful for
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
survive
this
competitive universe. To put it another way, in our globalized world, young adults always need to contact and connect with
people
from
huge
Add an article
a huge
the huge
show examples
variety of
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
,
as a result
being
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
good
manner
Fix the agreement mistake
manners
show examples
and
politeness
Replace the word
polite
show examples
will surely become their advantage,
in addition
, doing their best in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
will give
also
further
job promotion, an increase of income and so on.
For instance
, BTS,
Korean
Correct article usage
a Korean
show examples
boy band,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
worked more than 10 years for their debut and success with their true hard work and
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
, now there are most famous band not only in Korea
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide. In conclusion, traditional
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
show examples
are not accepted by
people
from
this
generation
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
often seem incompatible,
however
, we should not ignore all
advise
Replace the word
advice
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
them.
Submitted by llbayarmaa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traditional ideas
  • Modern life
  • Younger generations
  • Stability
  • Guidance
  • Foundation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Rigid gender roles
  • Resistance to new technologies
  • Adaptability
  • Innovative solutions
  • Respecting elders
  • Maintaining family bonds
  • Stifle progress
  • Fusion of ideas
  • Outdated values
What to do next:
Look at other essays: