Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicnes and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In these modern eras, the public tends to rely more on technology, when the community have some difficulty they often do some research before asking for professional consultation. When
come
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comes
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to illnesses nations
also
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will do some research, or get some opinions from their people before going to the clinic or hospital. From my personal understanding, I think it is important to ask for professional recommendations rather than
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some research and opinions from their society. In the following paragraphs, I will delve into the subject with examples, by demonstrating my standpoint.
Firstly
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,
while
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we trust unprofessional suggestions, we might get involved with scammers,
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who
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might take advantage of us.
For instance
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, if folk assume that we might have some lung issues, they will introduce their unauthorised supplement for us, which they could earn money from the transactions.
Likewise
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, if the supplements are combined with some minerals that
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prohibited.
This
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might have
further
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impacts on our strengths.
Secondly
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, some of the health issues are treatable, but
due to
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the prolonged time of harvesting alternative treatments, we might lose the chances of recovery.
For example
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, from the pandemic, we can see that the virus in our body could eat up our whole lungs, if we do not get treatment in place, and many communities die at home because of the infections.
Such
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, concerns
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significantly
impacted
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impact
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our health and we might lose the ability to fight the virus if
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we do
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not get professional consultation as soon as we should.
To sum up
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, society should be more aware of their own well-being, they should ask for professional advice before exploring the other treatment
that is
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in place. I reiterate my viewpoint, as a person we should
take
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more cautious about our health issues and
looks
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look
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for professional guidance before any decisions have been made.
Submitted by SugerMei on

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coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but more development is needed in the introduction to clearly introduce the topic and provide a clear thesis statement. The essay lacks a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a confusing manner. The main points are not effectively supported, and there is a need for better organization and development of ideas.
task achievement
The response to the prompt is partial, with the essay lacking a clear position on the issue. More comprehensive and specific ideas are needed to fully address the topic. Additionally, more relevant and specific examples are required to support the points made.
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