Some people think that it is not necessary to protect animal species that are becoming extinct because they are not beneficial to humans. Agree or disagree?

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The question of whether humans should participate in preserving rare animal
species
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is a topic of ongoing discussion among the general public.
While
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some believe that it is not essential as it has no impact on folks' lives, others argue that people should have the onus for protecting animals. Personally, I gravitate toward the latter viewpoint,
I
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and I
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intend to offer a thorough analysis
about
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of
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it. One of the prime reasons why I disagree with
this
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perspective is that animal conservation plays a crucial role in ecosystem balance.
This
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is because each animal
species
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, either enormous or tiny, is offering a practical means of maintaining food chains.
Therefore
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, the disappearance of certain creatures might lead to the domino effect, which disrupts the balance and leads to the collapse of the entire ecosystem that humanity still heavily depends on. To illustrate, carnivorous animals would have no food source without herbivores, herbivores would
decease
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decrease
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without worms, and that cycle continues until they all die of starvation. Another notable explanation for protecting creatures is
its
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their
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hidden value. It is true that even if it doesn't provide direct benefits like food or processing ingredients, biodiversity still plays a vital role in sustaining life on Earth and contributing to the advancement of global science.
This
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is
due to
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the fact that preserving and protecting rare and exotic
species
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helps descendants better understand Earth's past.
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, some venomous animals
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such
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, such
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as snakes or
scorpions
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scorpions,
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function as an efficient method for the treatment of cancer and other diseases.
Hence
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, their loss would be an irreplaceable void in the world's medical industry. In conclusion, I strongly do not support the point of view that protecting endangered
species
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is unnecessary. The reason behind
this
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is
they
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that they
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play an invaluable role in balancing the ecosystem and assisting humankind in almost every aspect.

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task response
Make your main idea more direct in the first paragraph. Say clearly that you disagree, in one full sentence.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your second main point.
task response
Explain one idea a bit more. Some parts are good, but a few lines are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Use simpler and shorter linking words. This will make your flow more natural and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Be careful with some sentences that are too long. Split them into two sentences for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one very clear topic sentence.
task response
You answered the question fully and your opinion is clear.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most main points are supported with explanation.
task response
Your examples about food chains and medicine are relevant to the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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