Many teenagers are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time?

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Nowadays part-time jobs are becoming more common. Even parents are encouraging their children to look for
a side work
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side work
a side job

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun work in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

practice has both merits and demerits which will be discussed in the following essay. Obviously, looking for a teenage odd job has many advantages.
Firstly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the most important plus-side given by a free time job is experience.
Such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

activities make the young, especially business-minded ones, more career-oriented as they have the chance of real-time exposure to the job environment in advance.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a teenager who looks forward to starting a cafeteria in future can gain knowledge about the work atmosphere, the method of dealing with customers etc by working partly as a waiter or waitress during their academics itself.
Additionally
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these freelance efforts can improve the skills like time management, self-dependency etc among them. Despite the advantages mentioned above, I personally believe that there are some disadvantages too.
To begin
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

with, one primary effect is the lack of focus on education. Indeed, teens get busy with freelance
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work

It seems that works may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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they often find it difficult to show good academic performance since working part-time is
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming

It appears that time consuming is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we cannot predict the nature of the public one has to deal with during their work schedule.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a teenager working in nightclubs as an attendant has a high risk of being seduced by heroin and other drug-addicted people.
Consequently
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. their life itself can be in danger.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, free-time assignments have both positive and negative effects. An effect can have either a positive or negative impact on oneself depending on their nature and attitude. It is advisable that parents should properly evaluate the skills and abilities of their children before encouraging them to look for part-time
endeavor
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endeavors

It seems that endeavor may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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