Some evidence seem crime would be rising in most countries. Especially between youth. Youth people are in a critical age. The causes of this appear to be focused on two areas and the number of solutions appear to be effective.

It is often said that
one
of the causes of the
crime
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resection. If
people
can not pay
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
daily routine , they will
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
.
For example
, a man who does not pay
his
Change preposition
for his
show examples
girl’s school ,
he
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wants to
robber
Replace the word
rob
show examples
money for her tuition.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the other hand ,
crime
also
appears to be rising among young
people
.
One
of the causes of
this
case of
crime
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is about youth
people
are
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a critical age. If
parents
do not aware
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
, they will
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
easily.
Forinstance
Correct your spelling
For instance
, young
people
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
these age
Change the determiner
this age
these ages
show examples
are disobedient and they can do anything they want. And social media can impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them too.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand there has some solutions
appear
Correct pronoun usage
that appear
show examples
to be effective.
One
of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
solutions
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is about helping
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
. Government has a huge role in
people
’s life. Examples can be
scen
Correct your spelling
seen
in if government prepare his country for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
better life ,
crime
will be less.
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
another solution
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is about helping
parents
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
their young
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
. Because young
people
are
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their critical age and do not know what is good for them very well. In
this
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
if
parents
do not have excellent
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
with them , young
people
will have distance
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
their
parents
. So
parents
should be close
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
their youth.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
parents
do not
punishment
Replace the word
punish
show examples
their child for everything. In conclusion , it seems to me
crime
has a lot of causes
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
in young
people
these days. There has some bad happening impact on
crime
between
people
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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