Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international online? Are there any disadvantages to this?

#people #barriers #chance

The advancement of technology has brought us

Change preposition

apply

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a new way of communication

Correct word choice

that

show examples

we have never imagined before. Plenty of online communication platforms have been established by far,

such

as WhatsApp

call

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calls

show examples

and video

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

, Skype, Zoom, Instagram video

call

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calls

show examples

, etc. The following essay will share

about

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apply

show examples

the advantages that these tools may give us. Originally,

people

must see each other in person if they have something to talk to. Nowadays,

people

can do it

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apply

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online.

With

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This

show examples

this

kind of invention, will lead us to the first advantage, which is to save cost.

People

do not need to spend money to travel anymore just to see someone they need to meet.

Moreover

, if one of the family members or friends

are

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living abroad, they can only use the technology if they feel longing for each other. They can do

video

Correct article usage

a video

show examples

call

instead

. The second advantage will be to save

energy

People

do not need to spend so much

energy

just to see someone.

This

includes the

energy

to get ready, to take

transportations

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transportation

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, or simply just to walk to the meeting place

for instance

People

can only call their loved ones or friends just by sitting on the couch at their home or by lying on their bed. The third advantage,

people

will have

wider

Add an article

a wider

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network of international-wide friends. There are a lot of platforms that allow us to meet someone new through Instagram or Facebook,

for example

This

will be beneficial for

people

to learn new things

such

as foreign languages and cultures.

Additionally

people

’s skills and knowledge will be enhanced. In conclusion, having technologies that allow us to communicate internationally have great advantages. Among them are to save money, to save

energy

, and to have

wider

Add an article

a wider

show examples

international network that will lead to enhancement of skills and knowledge.

However

this

matter must have some advantages as well.

Nevertheless

, in my opinion, the beneficial is outweigh the

detrimental

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detriment

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Submitted by annisafitriyani on Sun Jun 18 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

320 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that being able to communicate with others online is breaking down geographical barriers and enabling people, who would normally never have the chance to meet, to communicate. What are the advantages of international online? Are there any disadvantages to this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Topic: Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays more tasks at home and work are being performed by robots. Why do you think this is happening? Is it a positive or negative development?

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this?. What can be done to solve this problem?.