Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix this problem.

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In recent years, the unhealthy behaviour of children and teenagers has achieved a great deal of media attention around the world. Given that

this

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issue may have far-reaching effects, both nationally and globally, identifying the reasons behind it is key to finding solutions. There are many reasons why youngsters become overweight and unhealthy today.

First,

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since the mobile phone has become indispensable over the past few decades in almost every aspect of life, the young will be more likely to be over-stimulated by it, leading to excessive screen time.

Therefore

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, healthy activities,

such

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as exercising, are usually neglected, which makes young people more susceptible to obesity .

Second,

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if parents don't pay close attention to their heir's diet, they will uncontrollably eat foods that are unhealthy but delicious.

For instance

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, cakes and candies, which are children's one of the most favourite foods, are the primary causes of diabetes since they are full of sugar and fat.

Nevertheless

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, there

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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a number of actionable solutions to curb the trend. By becoming role models in healthy lifestyles and diets, parents can help enhance their children's health significantly.

For example

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, if a father or a mother exercises on a regular basis, his or her child will be inclined to try exercising, leaving their phones behind

as a result

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In addition

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, schools and teachers play a crucial role in teaching and sharing the serious effects of unhealthy lifestyles and diets. In fact, if young people are aware that they are opening themselves up to a whole host of serious health issues that can even lead to death, they

would

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will

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decide to stop eating junk food. In conclusion,

although

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it may appear challenging to change negative behaviours, parents and schools can take steps together to help teenagers improve their lifestyles and diets.

quangduong11750Sun Jun 18 2023

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task response

The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both the reasons for young people becoming overweight and unhealthy and suggesting actionable solutions. The ideas are relevant and supported throughout the essay. Make sure to provide more specific examples to enhance the depth of the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there is room for improvement in terms of using more cohesive devices, such as linking words, to strengthen the coherence and flow of the essay. Ensure that the ideas are connected and transition smoothly from one to the next.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

297 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Screen time
Balanced diet
Nutrients
Physical education
Parental influence
Aggressive marketing
Emotional stress
Coping mechanism
Caloric intake
Processed foods
Nutrient-dense
Health awareness
Fast food industry

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Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix this problem.

As we are facing more and more problems,which affect the whole planet,good relationship between different countries are becoming more important than ever before .To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more adults choose to continue to live with their parents after they graduate and have found jobs. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT COMPETITION AT WORK, AT SCHOOL AND IN DAILY LIFE IS A GOOD THING. OTHERS BELIEVE THAT WE SHOULD TRY TO COOPERATE MORE, RATHER THAN COMPETING AGAINST EACH OTHER.