Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests

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Finding appropriate and adequate job vacancies to apply for is increasingly arduous and difficult. Some employers ask individuals for leisure activities

such

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as hobbies and interests,

as well as

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marital status. Some individuals agree with

this

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practice, believing it is necessary for a comprehensive curriculum vitae,

while

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others disagree with

this

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view. I roughly agree with the former. In

this

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essay, I will explain the different opinions regarding

this

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issue and provide a balanced perspective. On the one hand, personal

information

Use synonyms

is essential for employment as it helps managers find the best candidates. Some managers try to gather data about hobbies, interests, spouses, and the number of children and family background.

For example

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, if a company knows about an employee’s marital status and number of children, they can provide suitable monthly payments and benefits.

Additionally

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, recruiters can find positions based on applicants’ interests.

Therefore

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, knowing the personal

information

Use synonyms

of employees is beneficial for employers.

On the other hand

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, many people believe that collecting private

information

Use synonyms

is against human rights and personal privacy.

For instance

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, personal details

such

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as religion and nationality, which are not relevant to the occupation, are unnecessary.

For example

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, in an IT company in Australia, it is not important to know about an applicant’s country of origin. What matters most are their experience and theoretical and practical training in IT.

Moreover

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, questions about personal

information

Use synonyms

can be intrusive and uncomfortable for many people. In conclusion, I strongly believe that employers should balance the collection of personal

information

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with job-related details.

While

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understanding leisure activities and personal background can be beneficial, it should not overshadow the importance of working experience and academic qualifications.

Submitted by pardisghobadi on Sat Jan 11 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that you have a clear thesis statement in your introduction that briefly outlines your main points.

coherence cohesion

Try to maintain a consistent stance throughout your essay, particularly in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied transitions and linking words to make the progression of your ideas clearer.

task achievement

The essay addresses both views of the topic and provides a balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph has a clear central idea which enhances readability.

task achievement

The essay provides examples that clarify the points being made.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

job application
personal information
hobbies and interests
marital status
relevant
useful
privacy
assessing candidates
qualifications
experience

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