IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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As
year
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the year
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 goes by, the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries not only in the big cities, but they are now can be seen in the village.
As a
Linking Words
result
Add a comma
,result
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 there are many local
Use synonyms
business
Change to a plural noun
businesses
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 which become unable to compete and
Linking Words
finally
Add a missing verb
are finally
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 out of
business
Use synonyms
. But, some
people
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 think that the closure of local
busniess
Correct your spelling
businesses
 will bring about the death of local communities. I completely agree that the rapid
developemnt
Correct your spelling
development
 of supermarkets will bring out the death of
local
Add an article
a local
the local
show examples
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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. First and foremost, there are numerous reasons why
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
 tend to chose buying at
Use synonyms
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
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 than at the local
business
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. Mainly it is because
in
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,in
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 the
supermarket
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, they literally sell everything start from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fruit to the snack,
therefore
Linking Words
 it is counted as an efficient way of shopping.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
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 finding
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 hard to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
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free time for grocery shopping
due to
Linking Words
 their hectic busy work. They tend to
chose
Change the verb
choose
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 shopping at
Use synonyms
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
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supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
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 which provide their
essential
Fix the agreement mistake
essentials
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 which is
count
Wrong verb form
counted
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 as efficient.
Moreover
Linking Words
, compared to local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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, the
supermarket
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 will provide to giving any
doscount
Correct your spelling
discount
discounts
 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 who have their
member
Replace the word
membership
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 card, making the
people
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 will happily come again the next day. Another potential reason why the local
business
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tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to out of
business
Use synonyms
 after the
supermarket
Use synonyms
spotted
Add a missing verb
is spotted
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 near their location is usually because of their staff.
For example
Linking Words
, the staff who is not very loyal to their boss in the local
business
Use synonyms
 would feel that working
at
Change preposition
apply
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the there become useless over time
due to
Linking Words
 the salary at
Use synonyms
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
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is
Wrong verb form
being
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 higher than at their working place which is
local
Add an article
a local
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business
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 agree that whenever the
supermarket
Use synonyms
 is located near
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 local
business
Use synonyms
, the local
business
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 has a very high chance to run out of
business
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due to
Linking Words
 their competence in
serve
Wrong verb form
serving
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people
Use synonyms
’s essential to their not loyal staff that will probably think to take a chance to work at
Use synonyms
supermarket
Add an article
a supermarket
the supermarket
show examples
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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