Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix this problem.

#children #teenagers #people

It is irrefutable that obesity has become a common problem among youngsters around the globe. Nowadays, teenagers are being fat

day

due to

several reasons, which will be highlighted in the next paragraphs.

This

essay will make an effort to suggest measures which will address

this

prevalent issue. First of all, it is an undeniable fact that youngsters have started spending more time in front of the computer these days compared to the past. They are inactive for a long time on a daily basis, which can cause overweight.

Secondly

, teenagers and children have a balanced diet, which is one of the most popular reasons to become obese. They consume fatty foods like Pizza, Hot-dogs, Hamburgers, and Fries.

Thirdly

, young people are facing a problem

that is

a lack of exercise since they are very busy every

day

Therefore

, doing sports can sometimes be the

last

thing on their list with a schedule filled with different classes and after-school activities. They have a deficiency in exercise which is another reason for being fat. The Solutions are very simple.

To begin

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parents should teach their children about the consequences of addiction to computers and should set a certain time for their children to play computer games.

Moreover

, youngsters should learn the downsides of fast food and parents should make them understand that they should eat more fruits ,vegetables and other products ,which have more nutritious value than junk food

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because they can help teenagers to have a controlled diet and be healthy.

Furthermore

, young people should spend normal hours on curricular activities and doing exercise. They should be allowed to choose a sport they enjoy and help them to fit it into their daily routine. I believe that if these steps are taken, the problem of overweight will be addressed.

To sum up

, it can be reiterated that people are facing obesity every

day

This

essay made an effort to highlight the causes of

this

issue and give some simple solutions to it.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Sun Jun 18 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

334 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Screen time
Balanced diet
Nutrients
Physical education
Parental influence
Aggressive marketing
Emotional stress
Coping mechanism
Caloric intake
Processed foods
Nutrient-dense
Health awareness
Fast food industry

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Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix this problem.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation,such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some teachers think that changing subjects with every lesson will help their students focus more. However, other teachers think that offering their students several lessons on the same subject in a row will help them focus more. Which opinion do you think is better?

Some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts should be banned from TV as well as from international sports competition. what is your opinion?