IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The table below shows the preferred TV programs by the different age groups in a european country in 2012.

The table below shows the preferred TV programs by the different age groups in a european country in 2012.
#tv #programs #age #groups #european #country
The table illustrates the percentages of TV programs that have been watched by citizens of the European nation, which were divided into three categories of
age
 in 2012.
Overall
, a glance at the figure provided reveals that there were different programs in each group, which became the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
favourite of the audiences in that country.
To begin
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of children, which below 15 years, viewed
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
 as their favourite channel, stood at almost a third. It is followed by sports
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 at 22%, and
then
 features film and soap opera, which both of them had a similar
number
 at around 18%.
Moreover
, TV dramas and news
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the least program in that group.
In contrast
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Add an article
the age
show examples
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 15 and 20 years, liked to watch features
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 and news, with 23% and 19% respectively.
Furthermore
, the spectators
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that category preferred to watch
cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
cartoons
show examples
 and sports, with an identical
number
 at 18 per cent. The remaining categories had small portions at under 12%. Based on the
last
 group with
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
 below 25 years, news, sports, and features film had the highest proportions among all programs at over 20% of audiences during the period. Soap opera had a slightly lower
number
 at 19%,
whereas
 the
number
 of audiences, who watched TV dramas at only 13%.
Cartoon
Fix the agreement mistake
Cartoons
show examples
 became the minority in that
age
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
 with
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a small percentage.
Submitted by dimasfajarairlangga on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: