Today many children and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy. Give reasons to explain why many young people are obese and give some solutions to fix this problem.

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In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
era
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of
children
Use synonyms
and teenagers are overweight and unhealthy.The reasons and how it could be fixed are
disscused
Correct your spelling
discussed
below.
Firstly
Linking Words
,eating out frequently
that is
Linking Words
mostly from a fast food chain
these
Change the determiner
this
show examples
food contains lots of fats which leads to obesity,
this
Linking Words
can be controlled by eating
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
meals which will be
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
nutritious and healthy option.
Secondly
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,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of physical activity
this
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
many youngsters
prefer
Wrong verb form
preferring
show examples
to use their mobile phones rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
engaging
Wrong verb form
engage
show examples
in outdoor activities
such
Linking Words
as sports.
This
Linking Words
can be overcome by parents being more strict
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
regarding the use of phones and encouraging their kids to join extra- circular
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
such
Linking Words
as netball , soccer , swimming etc.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, insufficient knowledge about the impact of obesity
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
Use synonyms
when one is not aware of the consequences or rather negative effects they would not even give
a
Correct pronoun usage
it a
show examples
second thought ,
therefore
Linking Words
in schools and universities
children
Use synonyms
should be thought about leading a healthy lifestyle whereby they would have
basic
Add an article
a basic
the basic
show examples
idea on the importance of it and most likely to follow when they join
Add an article
the work
show examples
work force
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
affordability
Correct article usage
the affordability
show examples
of unhealthy food
such
Linking Words
as fizzy drinks ,
unhealthy
Correct word choice
and unhealthy
show examples
snacks which are rich in fats and sugar which
children
Use synonyms
purchase and consume because it is cheap. Government should increase
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
on these items so that people will think twice before buying
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Screen time
  • Balanced diet
  • Nutrients
  • Physical education
  • Parental influence
  • Aggressive marketing
  • Emotional stress
  • Coping mechanism
  • Caloric intake
  • Processed foods
  • Nutrient-dense
  • Health awareness
  • Fast food industry
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