Crime rates will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undeniable in
this
modern era, technology
improves time by time. I agree with the statement that some advantages can make some advancements including security that can detect and prevent crimes. The following paragraph will explore and provide examples.
On the hand
, Correct word choice
other hand
technology
can be an easy way to improve security. For example
, some houses put cameras as an “eye” that has abilities to watch, to record cord every activity and movement. In addition
, it is so
useful for the officer especially the police, Rephrase
apply
such
as various cases that can be solved by looking at this
recording. Besides
that, technology
can protect us from bad people when they want to do
negative desires. Verb problem
have
For instance
, lots of companies in the automotive sector give an alarm if someone who is not its owner tries to steal the car by making a huge
sound and sending a notification to the owner's smartphone. Correct word choice
loud
As a result
, the number of cases of crime will go down.
On the other hand
, the technology
’s improvement can also
be a problem because ,in recent years, offenders try
to use it to get advantages. As an illustration, In Indonesia, there are so many scamming cases by taking people’s money in their bank account through an application or Wrong verb form
have tried
massage
that has been sent to the victims’ phones. But in fact, Correct your spelling
message
this
can be tackled with security awareness or even not clicking every link in a massage
. Correct your spelling
message
Last
but not least, do not share and keep our private username, password or even general information to everyone.
In conclusion, I believe that the improvement of technology
has more advantages than its
drawbacks because it can be used as a tool to protect or prevent us from crimes.Correct pronoun usage
apply
Submitted by donihabiburrahman8 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details to maintain logical structure.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be strengthened to better frame the essay.
task achievement
Provide more in-depth analysis and development of ideas to fully address the task prompt.