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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

23.Some people believe that youngsters should be required to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. What extent do you agree or disagree

#people #youngsters #education #years
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In
this
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 modern era, a few individuals opine that adults ought to have full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. I disoccurred with
this
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 notion because they might have an introverted personality
as well as
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 uncreativeness in
work
Use synonyms
. I will explain
this
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 in the impending paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons why I disagree with
this
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 opinion. First and foremost, youngsters can become introverted personalities. If they will spend a lot of hours to do study rather than spending on extracurricular activities
such
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 as sports, walking and many more, they might not prefer to communicate with others as they are lacking behind in communication skills .
For instance
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, a study published in “The Hindustan Times” revealed that “Chinese Students” utilize long hours on academic subjects. So, they are not good at communication skills.
In addition
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 to
this
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, students might become uncreative to do
work
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. The reason for
this
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 is that the pressure of academics is very high on the learners. So, they are unable to deal with it
as well as
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 sometimes they
also
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 suffer from depression and anxiety.
For example
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, “Australian colleges” give a lot of assignments to their students.
Due to
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 their assignments, they do not have extra time to spend on other activities.
Hence
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, they might not be able to show the creativeness in their
work
Use synonyms
. In view of the arguments outlined above one can conclude that,
although
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 it is essential to study, owing to if youngsters can do full-time education, they might have introverted behaviour and uncreativeness at
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by amanjotkaur532 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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