Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others fell that having a balanced diet it's more important.

#people #exercise #health #diet

It is widely argued that

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

Change the verb form

are

show examples

more useful for

health

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

others opine that

balanced

Correct article usage

a balanced

show examples

diet

is better.

Although

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

activities

key

Add a missing verb

are key

show examples

health

well balanced

Add a hyphen

well-balanced

show examples

diet

is good. On the one

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

there are useful and important exercises. Because if you

training

Wrong verb form

train

show examples

often it will start to affect your body parts.

As a result

, it will

also

have a positive effect on your

health

For instance

, my dad does run every day and

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

helping

his

Correct pronoun usage

him

show examples

to lose weight. Another better side of working out is for your muscles. Especially

this

is observed among many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

young muscles

have

Correct pronoun usage

that have

show examples

grown during these exercises. The result, young

people

want to go to fitness clubs when they see each other changing like

this

For example

, fitness clubs located in the city

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

are always full of

people

In addition

, they are

also

working hard at home, and these processes have a positive effect on their

health

On the other hand

, I strongly believe that

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

diet

balance is very useful

Change preposition

for

show examples

health

Majority

Correct article usage

The majority

show examples

people

who

eating

Change the form of the verb

eat

show examples

healthy food

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

happy and they are in luck.

This

reason is that every day

people

cook healthy food, buying fresh vegetables.

Moreover

, they can reduce their different diseases. They

knows

Change the verb form

know

show examples

will visit the doctor less often. Another profits

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

diet

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lifestyle changes because if everyone eats on time and in order there will be no

health

problems.

To sum up

, though training

sports

Change preposition

in sports

show examples

Add a missing verb

is more

show examples

useful, I think that

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

balance

diet

Change the article

apply

show examples

well for everyone.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Mon Jun 19 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Cardiovascular health
Metabolism
Chronic diseases
Immune system
Mental well-being
Nutrients
Malnutrition
Obesity
Type 2 diabetes
Circulation
Nutrient distribution
Preventive health
Energy levels
Balanced diet
Essential nutrients

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Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others fell that having a balanced diet it's more important.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

E-mail has had a huge impact on professional and social communication,but this impact has been negative as well as positive. Do the disadvantages of usinge-mail outweigh the advantages

Some people believe that we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.