Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, ( sedentary lifestyle,junk food) and what solutions can be offered?(foolwed a diet , campign of awarness participate in outdoor activities)

More
children
are prone to various health issues
such
as diabetes, and heart problems, but obesity is common among
children
not only in adults. The main causes of
this
problem
are a sedentary lifestyle and fast
food
;
therefore
, to take the edge off
this
problem
by organizing campaigns and outdoor activities which will be discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, there are two causative factors behind
this
phenomenon. One of the plausible reasons is
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the sedentary lifestyle of young ones. Since it is acknowledged that
Children
are always glued to their cell phones and show less interest in outdoor activities.
Thus
, it tends to make them
fatty
Replace the word
fat
show examples
because they are unable to do any physical activity which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them healthy. Another solid reason that cannot be denied is the consumption of junk
food
.
Children
prefer to eat preprocessed items ranging from burgers, noodles, and sandwiches which have high fat, leading
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
make them
Verb problem
become
show examples
obese owing to their metabolism which takes time to digest. The health care system,
for instance
, conveys that 95
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
children
are getting obese
due to
eating fast
food
and reel under various diseases in Canada. Despite these aforementioned difficulties, some effective measures can be taken, and to uproot
this
grimmer issue, the government can take some concrete steps. One of the most fruitful solutions is that encourage
children
to participate in outdoor games
such
as cricket, hockey, and many more.
As a result
, they can burn their calories and make themselves fit. A second potential solution is to arrange campaigns in every town to spread awareness regarding the bad consequences of consuming outside
food
and how they can stay healthy. To recapitulate,
although
obesity's
problem
is common in
youngones
Correct your spelling
young
instead
of teenagers, nowadays, the primary causes are sitting habits and eating junk
food
among
children
, I believe that involvement in physical activities and education pertaining to fast
food
's negative effects on their health help them to mitigate
this
problem
.
Submitted by jaspreetkaurdasuya on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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