An increasing number of people now are using the internet to meet other and socialize, some think this has brought people closer together while other think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #internet #think

Technological advancement in the

last

few decades

change

Wrong verb form

has changed

show examples

the way

people

communicate and interact with other

people

through the

internet

. Some

people

have different opinions regarding

this

phenomenon which leads to

people

becoming less socialized in the real world. In

this

essay, I will outline various points of view regarding

this

trend in our social lives. The users of the

internet

have increased significantly in the

last

10 years, from urban areas to villages supported by the price of devices relatively affordable for society.

This

makes communication and interaction with other

people

much easier to greet them quickly and efficiently.

For example

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

are able to make a video call with their parents and families using the

Correct your spelling

show examples

application without any obstacles, and

this

will save money rather

than

Change preposition

show examples

visiting them by using public transportation.

On the other hand

people

can make new friends from other countries, which means there is no international frontier so they can share their

idea

Fix the agreement mistake

ideas

show examples

or obtain valuable information,

such

as job opportunities or scholarships overseas.

However

, usage of the

internet

sometimes causes

people

to become more isolated because they do not interact with the real world and there is an inclination that they will be more stressed because they are no longer learning about social lives.

For instance

, during the pandemic COVID-19, the majority of

people

just stayed at home to avoid

this

virus, and they tend to be anxious and depressed because, during

this

period, they only interact with other

people

by using the

internet

. In the long run,

this

issue will be harmful to society when they are no longer able to communicate with other

people

as human beings. In conclusion, I contend that the growing fast

internet

users enable

people

to communicate much more efficiently and faster, but

this

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

people

to become less isolated and reduces their instinct to socialize and communicate as social creatures.

Submitted by odod_aja on Mon Jun 19 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single main idea and that the ideas are logically connected to each other. Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay.

task achievement

Make sure to fully address all parts of the essay prompt. Clearly present both views and provide adequate support for each. Consider providing a more balanced presentation of the two views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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An increasing number of people now are using the internet to meet other and socialize, some think this has brought people closer together while other think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people feel it is a waste of money to try to save endangered animal species, for example the tiger or the blue whale. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugar products shall be made more expensive to encourage people to cunsume less sugar Do you agree or disagree?

‘Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use.’ To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

In some countries, students while studying lived away from home. Do you think the advantage outweigh disadvantage?