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An increasing number of people now are using the internet to meet other and socialize, some think this has brought people closer together while other think people are becoming more isolated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #internet #think
Technological advancement in the
last
 few decades
change
Wrong verb form
has changed
show examples
 the way
people
 communicate and interact with other
people
 through the
internet
. Some
people
 have different opinions regarding
this
 phenomenon which leads to
people
 becoming less socialized in the real world. In
this
 essay, I will outline various points of view regarding
this
 trend in our social lives. The users of the
internet
 have increased significantly in the
last
 10 years, from urban areas to villages supported by the price of devices relatively affordable for society.
This
 makes communication and interaction with other
people
 much easier to greet them quickly and efficiently.
For example
,
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 are able to make a video call with their parents and families using the
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
show examples
 application without any obstacles, and
this
 will save money rather
than
Change preposition
to
show examples
 visiting them by using public transportation.
On the other hand
,
people
 can make new friends from other countries, which means there is no international frontier so they can share their
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
 or obtain valuable information,
such
 as job opportunities or scholarships overseas.
However
, usage of the
internet
 sometimes causes
people
 to become more isolated because they do not interact with the real world and there is an inclination that they will be more stressed because they are no longer learning about social lives.
For instance
, during the pandemic COVID-19, the majority of
people
 just stayed at home to avoid
this
 virus, and they tend to be anxious and depressed because, during
this
 period, they only interact with other
people
 by using the
internet
. In the long run,
this
 issue will be harmful to society when they are no longer able to communicate with other
people
 as human beings. In conclusion, I contend that the growing fast
internet
 users enable
people
 to communicate much more efficiently and faster, but
this
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
people
 to become less isolated and reduces their instinct to socialize and communicate as social creatures.
Submitted by odod_aja on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is focused on a single main idea and that the ideas are logically connected to each other. Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the essay prompt. Clearly present both views and provide adequate support for each. Consider providing a more balanced presentation of the two views.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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