More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

#children #countries #obesity

It is undeniable that nowadays in developed countries have been facing an overweight

problem

, especially

Change preposition

among

show examples

many young people. in the following paragraphs, causes and some sensible solutions for

this

issue will be outlined.

To begin

with, obesity has become a serious

problem

in wealthy countries because most children have not been aware of

this

issue.

In other words

, they always eat everything they like without concern about calories or the amount of sugar in those foods.

In addition

, there are many junk food restaurants

such

as MC Donald, KFC and Burger

Kings

Fix the agreement mistake

King

show examples

around the town and the cost is cheaper than healthy food.

As a result

, they have decided to consume these junk foods

instead

of healthy meals, leading to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

overweight.

Besides

, most young children have ignored exercising since they do not know how important

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

exercise

Add a missing verb

is.

show examples

To tackle

this

problem

, one of the most possible ways is to encourage children to go out for exercise which should be easier than stopping them from eating what they love.

For instance

, promoting how to lose weight at home by

influencers

. These days, the young generation spends all day since they wake up until they go to bed on social media like Tiktok, Instagram and Facebook, leading to the role of

influencers

becoming more important.

Thus

, those

influencers

have a lot of power to encourage them.

According to

the information mentioned above, it can be concluded that many young generations are becoming overweight caused of lacking awareness of the obesity

problem

Therefore

, it should be solved by advertising more about losing weight from

influencers

Submitted by foamary41 on Mon Jun 19 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
overweight
Type 2 diabetes
heart disease
asthma
psychological impact
self-esteem
bullying
depression
nutrition
balanced diet
physical activity
healthcare costs
economic consequences
parental involvement

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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many parents choose to teach their children at home instead of sending them to school. Do you think the benefits of homeschooling outweigh its drawbacks?

Nowadays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problem can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep.

“Prison is the only truly effective form of punishment, because it separates criminals from society.” To what extent do you support this view? You should give reasons for your answer, and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Each government and authority gave funding to art society; however, some people including me are strongly of the opinion that this is a type of wasting money and it is not profitable action that all social class can use it.