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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. What are the most serious problems associated with obesity and what solutions can you suggest?

#children #countries #obesity
It is undeniable that nowadays in developed countries have been facing an overweight
problem
, especially
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 many young people. in the following paragraphs, causes and some sensible solutions for
this
 issue will be outlined.
To begin
 with, obesity has become a serious
problem
 in wealthy countries because most children have not been aware of
this
 issue.
In other words
, they always eat everything they like without concern about calories or the amount of sugar in those foods.
In addition
, there are many junk food restaurants
such
 as MC Donald, KFC and Burger
Kings
Fix the agreement mistake
King
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 around the town and the cost is cheaper than healthy food.
As a result
, they have decided to consume these junk foods
instead
 of healthy meals, leading to
an
Remove the article
apply
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overweight.
Besides
, most young children have ignored exercising since they do not know how important
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
 To tackle
this
problem
, one of the most possible ways is to encourage children to go out for exercise which should be easier than stopping them from eating what they love.
For instance
, promoting how to lose weight at home by
influencers
. These days, the young generation spends all day since they wake up until they go to bed on social media like Tiktok, Instagram and Facebook, leading to the role of
influencers
 becoming more important.
Thus
, those
influencers
 have a lot of power to encourage them.
According to
 the information mentioned above, it can be concluded that many young generations are becoming overweight caused of lacking awareness of the obesity
problem
.
Therefore
, it should be solved by advertising more about losing weight from
influencers
.
Submitted by foamary41 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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