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Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries levels of health and fitness are decreasing and average weights are increasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what are some possible solutions?

There are two issues for some countries related to levels of
health
Use synonyms
 and lifestyle are weakened and average weights are
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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.
This
Linking Words
 condition is mostly caused by lifestyle including the
time
Use synonyms
 consumed doing exercise and the eating habits in the community.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in my perspective, there are a number of solutions which can be applied to tackle those problems. The main problem with
this
Linking Words
 is many
people
Use synonyms
 these days do not put exercise as a priority in their daily activities since their focus is on work.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there is plenty of junk food which is easy for
people
Use synonyms
 to find in society, particularly online.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Indonesia, many white collars who have to work from eight to five mostly allocate their
time
Use synonyms
 by sitting behind their table to ensure all jobs are done on
time
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, junk food becomes their option to eat because it does not take much
time
Use synonyms
 especially since they can order online by using their mobile phones.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will become
lazy
Rephrase
too lazy
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 to move and it will impact their weight
that is
Linking Words
 going up. There are two solutions to the problems regarding
health
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 conditions. One way to conquer
this
Linking Words
 is to start from the company to create agreements regarding making their
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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 have enough
time
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 for taking some exercises. By doing
this
Linking Words
, staff will put exercise in their schedule that contributes to their mental
health
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 as well. Another method is for the government to build more sports centres that can be easy for
people
Use synonyms
 to access
due to
Linking Words
 it using tax from the community.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 solution expectantly encourages
people
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 ,especially workers
for maintaining
Change preposition
to maintain
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 their
health
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. In conclusion, having the same understanding among staff and company and
also
Linking Words
 developing more sports facilities are good in dealing with the issue. If the decision-makers implemented these solutions, the level of
health
Use synonyms
 in the community would be better.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • processed foods
  • physical education
  • urbanization
  • recreational facilities
  • advertising and media
  • emotional eating
  • motivation
  • dietary habits
  • affordable
  • convenient
  • proliferation
  • desk-bound
  • advancement of technology
  • physically demanding
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