It can be difficult for small local shops to compete with large supermarkets and with on-line shops. How does this affect local communities? What could be done to improve this situation?

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It is not uncommon for small local
shops
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to compete with chains of supermarkets and online
shops
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. I believe that
this
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may cause a decrease in the local
shops
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' total amount of earnings, but local
shops
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have some advantages over other types of
shops
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and I believe they could promote them in order to solve the problem. In the past local
shops
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were used to sell items to those who live nearby them and
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allowed local communities to earn more money. Developments were possible with a larger amount of money available. So the rapid development of supermarkets and online
shops
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affects the way and the speed in which a community may expand. One clear example may be the farmer community. A decrease in sales means that farmers are not able to buy new machines or hire new workers and
this
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affects their development.
On the other hand
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, local
shops
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have many qualities that larger
shops
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cannot have.
Firstly
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, I think that smaller
shops
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have a higher quality,
moreover
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,
this
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quality is certified, because they acquire products directly from local producers.
Due to
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that clients can be sure of buying fresh products
instead
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of imported ones.
In addition
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, clients are able to know in which conditions people who produce or harvest these products work, or if they are paid enough for their work. In conclusion, I think that the development of local communities is the activity most affected by
this
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problem,
however
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, local
shops
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have the right instruments to improve
this
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situation.
Submitted by alessandrorepola.repola on

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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, more specific examples could be provided to illustrate the points about the impact on local communities. This would help to make your arguments more convincing and relatable.
task achievement
Consider elaborating further on the potential strategies that local shops could employ to compete with supermarkets and online stores. This would provide a more thorough and comprehensive response to the second part of the question.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows seamlessly into the next with effective use of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing the main points.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure present, with each paragraph addressing a different aspect of the question, which aids in clarity and understanding.
task achievement
You've identified key points about the advantages of local shops and the challenges they face, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economies of scale
  • local employment opportunities
  • cultural diversity
  • community engagement
  • property prices
  • homogenization of the retail environment
  • social gathering points
  • unique and specialized products
  • local heritage preservation
  • online retailers
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