It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
It is considered by some that taking
risks
is Use synonyms
impeartive
in both personal and professional facets. From my standpoint, Correct your spelling
imperative
although
there are merits Linking Words
from from
accepting Change preposition
to
risks
, I advocate that a lot of drawbacks may happen alongside outweigh the Use synonyms
prositive
sides.
Correct your spelling
positive
To begin
with the advantages, some contend that Linking Words
people
who take Use synonyms
risks
could be one step ahead of others as they will be more experienced in many aspects. Through all that they have already passed by taking Use synonyms
risks
, individuals could be more Use synonyms
matured
in their personal Wrong verb form
mature
lives
. Use synonyms
Moreover
, not only as Linking Words
person
Add an article
a person
,
those Add the word(s)
, but
are
Change the verb form
are also
also
be more professional in their career Linking Words
lives
, conquering all problems by Use synonyms
possesing
Correct your spelling
possessing
risks
. Use synonyms
For example
, as a development manager, taking Linking Words
challenge
to do market expansion is necessary to increase a revenue rate. If the Add an article
the challenge
headquarter
do not do that action, the company will stuck and unable to acquire any enhancements.
Correct subject-verb agreement
headquarters
However
, taking Linking Words
risks
Use synonyms
is
not only Unnecessary verb
apply
bring
some good developments, but Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
also
various detrimental effects on everybody's Linking Words
live
. Replace the word
life
Firstly
, Linking Words
people
can be affected Use synonyms
pshologically
by taking a risky challenge as Correct your spelling
psychologically
although
they have mentally prepared for the worst possibility, a failure can lead to a Linking Words
dissapointment
. When Correct your spelling
disappointment
people
Use synonyms
could not
overcome that situation, the persons may feel bad for their Wrong verb form
cannot
lives
and Use synonyms
lost
their Wrong verb form
lose
confidences
. Fix the agreement mistake
confidence
Secondly
, those who are taking Linking Words
risks
in their Use synonyms
works
and achieve bad Fix the agreement mistake
work
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
,
may be scolded and fired from their positions since their co-workers cannot believe them professionally. Another point is Remove the comma
apply
people
who Use synonyms
likely
to take a risk will receive a bad label from Add a missing verb
are likely
societies
, which can immensely affect personal Fix the agreement mistake
society
as well as
professional Linking Words
lives
. The community will reckon those Use synonyms
people
as Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
troublemaker which
could not do any successful actions in their Fix the agreement mistake
troublemakers who
lives
, resulting in a bad personality and scarcity of a job opportunity.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
albeit
many benefits could be gained from taking Correct word choice
although
risks
, more repercussions outweigh its benefits, including mental damage, career Use synonyms
lost
and negative assumptions from the societies.Replace the word
loss
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task achievement
Your essay shows some understanding of the main topic. However, the response is not fully developed with clear arguments throughout. You should work on expanding your ideas more comprehensively.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly and effectively. Use cohesive devices to help the reader follow the argument. Avoid repetition and include a clear topic sentence for each paragraph.