IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Write about the following topic: Many species of animals all around the world are on the verge of extinction. Some say that countries and individuals should protect these animals from dying out, while others say that we should concentrate more on the problems of human beings. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #species #animals #world #verge #extinction #say #countries #individuals #beings #viewpoints
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All around the world, there are various types of
animals
 that are endangered. Some say that nations and people should preserve them from dying out,
whereas
 others believe that we need to be more
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 problems.
This
 essay will demonstrate why it is essential to balance both
animals
 and humans by making
this
 planet a better place to live, with a lucid conclusion. Because of the excessive usage of plastics, there are many marine species lose their lives every year. A recent example, Juhu beach in Mumbai, had hundred of
fishes
Fix the agreement mistake
fish
show examples
 and sea
animals
 died, and evidence shows that most of their stomachs were filled with plastic bottles. Not only that, many cows in Ahmedabad
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 died because they have eaten polythene bags
along with
 the food. It is highly
recommded
Correct your spelling
recommended
 to show some empathy as an
eduated
Correct your spelling
educated
 society, and we should stop throwing plastics on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 to make
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 a better place to live for every living species. On the other end, others suggest that there are countless problems for human beings that
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
 attention rather than focusing on dying
animals
. Somehow it is correct but as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
being
Add a comma
,being
show examples
 we need to make a balance between humans and
animals
 on our living planet.
if
Correct your spelling
If
show examples
 there are no cows,
for example
, no human being would
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to get
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
 based products like curd, milk and paneer.
Hence
, it is our job to preserve them. To summarise, it is quite understandable that humans are too busy with their lives and problems, they simply do not have time to stop the extinction of some species. In my opinion, it is
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
 duty to balance the planet on which we are living,
also
 we should stop the uncontrollable plastics
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that various
animals
 can live
healthy
Change the adjective
healthily
show examples
.
Submitted by MT on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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